dont want to be insensitive - help!

[waitingforbedtime]

My brother and his wife have just lost a baby. I have a son who is 3. He has made his aunty and uncle (who he doesnt see very often due to distance) a xmas card all glittery and smiley santa stickers etc - should I send it? They dont have any kids. Also, it has 'Merry Christmas' already written inside.

What do you think?

Yes, absolutely you should.

...and here's why: (pressed send too soon!)

One of the worst things about bereavement is people pussyfoot round you, and you get missed off things like christmas card lists because people don't want to offend you but it's bloody lonely to end up in that position and the card will probably raise a smile and it's a lovely thought.

Thanks wmmc - I am sending them a card from all of us anyways but yeah I know what you mean. I dont want to be leaving them out but nor do I want them to think I am saying 'look I have a child and its christmas' sort of thing because I am not and I am beyond gutted for them

yes. send it.

You must do the things you normally would. For the reasons WMMC said.

Your card can always include words along the lines of "sending you our love, it may not be the best of Christmases, and we hold you close".

I am a big believer of saying just how you feel in the face of bereavement......if you don't know what to say..........say that. If it makes you feel ill inside to think of their loss.....say that.

absolutely, they are still his aunt and uncle

am so sorry about your family's loss

Thanks, will send it today x

yes please send it

its much worse to get nothing or be ignored for fear of being insensitive

Yeah Trinity I thought that but then I didnt know if that was just my way of thinking. Thanks!

Not sending it would be like the people that cross the road because they are too frightened to speak to you in case they say the wrong thing. Actually I would rather people said anything than avoid me.