Gifts for a bereaved family

[PrettyCandles]

A dear friend died last summer. We are thinking about our Xmas presents for his family (dw, ds 16y, dd 14y) in USA

We want to send the dw a pampering voucher, possibly for something she can do with her dd. We were considering sending the ds a voucher for a session at a good barber, where he can have a proper shave or even a shaving lesson.

But we are not certain whether the barber idea is thoughtful, or potentially hurtful. He could go with his mum, to have a togetherness like she could have with her dd. Or he could go on his own and feel manly. But of course learning to shave would be something he would normally have done with his dad.

So do you think this would be a good idea?

hmmmmm, maybe just too personal to do from the far side of the Atlantic. Maybe he has been shaving for months or is still far off needing to. Maybe he would feel really sad that his Dad wasn't coming with him when he could have just got on with it quietly at home.

Could it be a three person unisex activity?

any chance you have some pics or videos of friend to send in a nice frame, album ect? I would send send normal stuff too, tbh, just a little something to let them know your thinking of their dad/dh, but some "normal" pressie too might be nice tbh,

Unfortunately I don't. He and his family moved to USA many years ago, and our friendship continued mostly by phone and email. I don't really have any mementos of him to give to them. (Or for myself, either.)

I like the idea of something that they coud do together. Can't think of anything ATM, though.

One of the nicest gifts we received was a book of memories. Humorous stories of my wife from a friend who had known her long before I met her.

DadIOM, tell me to bog off if I'm being too personal, but your post touches on something else about my relationship with my friend's family: the fact last year she told me - to my complete shock - that he had told her I was an ex-girlfriend. We were very close friends, it is true, but never more than that. I suspected that he would have liked more than friendship, but I just didn't feel that way about him. If he hadn't told her that he considered me an ex, I wouldn't mind talking to her about the past, but I don't want her to feel as if I'm saying "he was mine before he was yours". Do I make sense? What does that feel to you?

Well the friend in my case was female so different circumstances. I enjoy jearing stories about my wife that I hadn't heard before and don't feel threatened by them. However I understand your point, it would depend on the personality of the wife she might feel threatened she might appreciate teh shared grief that would in time give you a chance to explain how you swa the relationship. An answer that is probably not much help, sorry.