It's been 8 years & I still miss my best friend terribly.

[NormaSknockers]

My best friend passed away suddenly 8 years ago & I've never really gotten over it. I loved him dearly, he was the best friend I'd ever had & was there for me in some of my lowest times, he meant the world to me & brought so much laughter into my life. He was the first person who truly knew me, I could turn to him at anytime & he to me, when he died I think a part of me did too.

He died shortly before I met my now DH & although my DH is wonderful & lets me talk about him (he even helped me plant a yellow rose bush in our garden in my friends memory) I feel almost bad in talking to DH about him, I don't know why. Simon (my friend) would have loved DH, they would have got on really well & I know he would be so happy for me. I just miss him so much, there are days when I feel desperately lost as I would have picked up the phone & spoken with him & I can't do that. I feel like I'm being disloyal to DH by still missing Simon, I know DH doesn't think that but I feel that way.

I feel guilty talking to DH, daft as that is. I do think he knows though & he is very lovely about it all. The anniversary of Simon's death was a few weeks ago which is why I'm missing him more then usual I think.

hope you are not too sad.Hope it was not a painfull passing but he is at peace now and so should you be.Just enjoy your life and be happy with your dh.

When somebody you love (in any of the many possible ways) dies then you never get over it 100%. The pain lessens but sometimes it springs up and bites you.

A very dear male friend of mine died suddenly when DH and I were on holiday in New Zealand. Although this was some years ago now I visit his grave twice a year and put flowers on it. I don't think anybody else does which makes me even more determined to continue. DH is very understanding about all this.

If you don't mind me asking were you hoping to marry Simon when he died?

Thinking of you.