I didn't think it was possible for my heart to break so much after losing my Dad

[DrNortherner]

But it has. It is so hard. Sometimes I look back over these 6 months and wonder how I continued putting one foot in front of the other.

He was the most wonderful man ever. So calm, wise and good. And now he's gone, and I'm never going to see him again. He will never see ds grow up, and I took for granted he would......

People think I'm OK. I'm really not. I am changed inside. I am scared that the passing of time takes me further away from him, that things happen in the world and he doesn't know, and I will never know his opinion on them. I can remember him so vividly now, his voice, his smell, his hugs. I am scared that one day i will forget. I don't want to forget him.

I miss him so much.

Gosh I am over whelmed that you have shared this DrN, thank you

His face is so kind, love him

65 is no age, at all

What a fantastic obit

Thanks for sharing him

Looks like he is missed by many.

Yes, I am so proud he was my Dad. I want the world to know how wonderful he was.

That's great, DrN. That pride is yours to keep.

DrN your Dad sounds like a lovely man.

many of us MNers have been there too, my world collapsed 6 mo after my dad died because my mom passed away too.
it will be 10 years[dad] on dec 11th and it is so difficult even now.

always ready to talk if needed

DrN what a lovely picture. He had obviously touched the lives of many. How proud you must be of him.
All the good he has done in his life was really special.
65 is no age at all. Life seems so unfair sometimes. Thanks for sharing your Dad with us.
Take care x

That was lovely Dr Northerner, the comments people left too show what regard people held him in.
It's got me wondering about his favourite biscuits now...

Dr Northerner

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time.

Thanks for sharing your dads details -your dad has a very kind and friendly face and obviously was a generous man with his time.

I'm feeling quite down at the moment to be honest.

3 nights last week I came straight in from work and went to bed for an hour - felt exhausted. Feel emotionally wrung out really.

If my dad was here today he would just say chin up - make the most of your life - its very precious.

I know what you mean about feeling changed inside.

Hugs to you. Life is so hard is'nt it.

Hi Anastasia, sorry you are having it tough too. I came accross a song today called Agel's lullabye by Billy Joel, had never heard it before, but apparntly he wrote it for his daughter when going through a divorce. If you get chance you must google it, its very emotional but very uplifting, there are some lyrics that basically say how precious his daughter is and how wonderful her life can be, and that whatever happens, he will never be far away.

I know my dad loved me so much, he would want me to ahve a wonderful life. And I have to beleive he is near me, he meant so much to me he is in me I'm sure.

And yours is too.

Thanks Dr Northerner for suggesting this to listen to. What a beautiful song. The words are so moving and comforting.

Yes I think you are right - About them always being with us. Thats a lovely thought to hang on to.

XXX

Late to this thread and quite new to MN but just wanted to add my support. Lost my dad 5 years ago, suddenly at age 59, 2 days after I found out I was pg with DC1. Just like Rossco I shut down to deal with pg and baby. Counselling now has made me realise what a hard thing it was to deal with.

But... it does get easier. Day by day, bit by bit.

I read on another thread here - someone wrote about how they seemed ok but they wanted to "scream and cry and yell because my world is still broken". There's a part of me that will always be broken without my dad, but he's still a huge part of my life, as yours is too.

Hugs.

Thanks choosparp, and welcome to MN.

Glad you liked the song Ana xx

Hugs to you DrN, my Dad died 8 yrs ago and then my Mum died 5 yrs ago. I had a difficult relationship with my Dad which has lead to many regrets. My Mum was my World and my bestest friend and when she died a part of me died too.

It does get easier but the times it is most poignant now are things like when my dd was Mary in the Nativity and i sat in the audience crying both with pride and grief.

Hugs to you and thanks for sharing the photo of your Dad.

Oh DrN, your Op made me cry, but your Dad's Obit made me smile, because you could see how well liked and respected he was, you must be so very proud.

I haven't lost a parent, but my dear Grandfather the nicest, gentlest man I have ever met, died when I was 18 yrs old. I still talk about him to my DS's (even though it was a good 12 years later that DS1 came along). He'd have loved them and DS2 is physically very similar to him, DS1 has his gentle nature. My Mom often remarks on it when she visits and she loves that she can see her adored Father in her grandsons.

Bless you

DrN am sending you hugs. I lost my lovely dad 20 months ago at 67 to cancer and I still cannot believe that he has gone. The raw pain does ease eventually, it is like you are in a fog. This has been my first full year without my dad and as each anniversary passes it hurts, but you carry on. I had a vivid dream about my dad a few nights ago and it is like he was there.
Sending you my hugs and love. Your Dads picture is lovely XXX

drN, your dad looks like a true gent, and really highly thought of..

i have nothing constructive to say apart from i can identify with everything you say....i'm missing my mum more and more as the days go by. i wrote on here the other day that i feel really badly wounded inside, but people seem to forget because there are no visable scars and it makes it very hard to deal with.

hoping we can continue to support eachother on here through the shitty times, and eventually begin to remember the happy times too. x

Thanks so much for your kind words everyone. This truly is a roller coaster of emotions. I just got back from Blackpool yesterday - took my ds and my Mum, it is so hard knowing that my dad would have loved it if he'd have been there.

So sorry for everyone else who is missing a loved one.

Hya everyone, hugs to you.

We made the most of the lovely weather as well on saturday and took my mum to the coast. Somewhere we all used to go together.

My dad was mentioned regularly. Still hard to believe he would'nt ever be going with us again.

He loved going out for run to the coast. Loved the sea air.

The sea was so calm for this time of year. Not many people around. Just a few dogs on the beach. So tranquil

It was nice for my mum to get out for the day - she really enjoyed it. But sad at the same time as dad was so much fun to be with and made everyone laugh. So his absence was felt - very much so.

Miss him sooo much. Going to be a tough few months ahead.

Hello all. This thread has brought me to tears but at the same time given me some much needed reassurance that I am not alone if feeling heart broken at the loss of my darling dad.

My father died suddenly at home on his birthday just 6 weeks ago. Two days before dh, ds and I were due to visit him for the weekend to celebrate. I feel like the bottom has dropped out of my world.

My mum died 8 years ago and dad had continued to live in the family home (where i grew up) which I now have to clear and eventually sell. It feels so final, the end of an era. Although I have my own home, dad's house was also a home and sanctuary for me. I shall miss visiting and having our Friday night glass of wine and putting the world to rights sessions. I shall miss holding his hand. I shall miss is relentless positivity and optimism.

So, for DrNortherner and all others who keenly feel the loss of their lovely dad's my thoughts are with you.

Hi accio, so so sorry to hear about your Dad. Clearing out your childhood home sounds simply awful. I hop you have people to help you?

There are a gfew of us on here who help each other out when we feel crap. Please post more as and when you feel like it.

How is everyone else doing?

Yesterday ds (aged 7) told me if we won the lottery he would pay for his Granddad to come back......if only it were that simple hey?

Hi accio and all

I too had to sort out my mums house and then sell it, i remember hating people viewing it when it was on the market. seems silly now 5 years later.
Like you i have my own home but when mum died and her house had gone i felt like i had no roots. I still feel like i have lost my safety net to some extent in that i always knew she was there for me, like you say a sanctuary.
as time passes it does get better and i talk about her lots to my dd who was only 6 months old when Mum died.

If only it were that simple!

My ds is 7 also. He was born a year after mum died and having him was a real comfort. It is now too and he does cheer me up. As a good friend said to me after dad died, you have to Look to the littlies at times like this. It's true.

Gentle vibes to all.

Well today I am off to my old primary school with my ds. My Dad also went to this school as a boy, and when he died he was chair of governers. The school and the kids are making a mosaic in memory of my dad and we have been asked to go and paint atile each for the mosaic. It's a lovely thing they are doing but today I feel so emotional and I'm not even there yet..........

Hi Dr Northerner.

Wondered how it went yesterday. Hope you were ok. What a lovely way to remember your dad.

Hugs to you

Thanks for asking Anastasia. It was nice, but emotional in equal measures. Also, took my Mum to the cemetry and although we weren't expecting his head stone to be up till december, it was there. I had been dreading seeing it, but actually it was nice to see his name if that makes sense? I felt more connected to his grave somehow.

Going back to my primary school was a trip down memory lane too. Its weird the path you take after a bereavement.

How are things with you?