Finding things hard

[pinkdaisy]

Hi,
My friend passed away very suddenly in March and I am finding it very hard to deal with. We were friends through circumstance, so we didn't share the same groups of friends, but yet had remained friends for 16 years. I miss him terribly.
He moved abroad quite some time ago, but we would have phone conversations and regular emails. As none of my friends knew him I feel I have no-one to talk about him with. My DH has never lost anyone close to him before, and thinks I should be over it now, so I hide my feelings about how upset I still am. My sister knew him too, but as she is also still grieving, and I don't want to upset her by talking about him.
I have so many unanswered questions for him, and can't believe I will never have answers. There were things surrounding his death which I want to know but have no-one to ask. I think as I wouldn't see him every day I am finding it hard to believe he's even gone.
Sorry to rant, but this is the first time I've managed to say all these things!
Thanks for the outlet.
Lx

Hello,am very sorry for your loss,when I was in a similar situation,someone suggested I write a letter to my friend who had died and I thought 'bollocks to that' but in the end I did and it did make me feel better,maybe this could help you?

Please don't hide how you are feeling. That might in the end make you feel that you have no right to be upset. How can that be? Just because no-one around you knew him, that does not mean he was not important, and important to you. If you do talk about him a bit to people who are close to you, you will not only be relieving your own feelings a bit, you will be doing your friend a last service of friendship: bearing witness to his life and the qualities which made you friends and made you miss him.

Also, if you write a Christmas round robin letter, do mention his death in your description of the year; these letters are not only for boasting, and it might be a nice memorial for your friend. I've done this myself, and it does feel as though I've done a little something for a person's memory, which is something....