Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My BF son has died today age 12.

21 replies

melbob · 10/08/2009 00:57

My BF son has died today he was 12 last week and had been ill for about a year. They live along way a way so I can't pop in or offer immediate practical help. I wiah I coudl help her

OP posts:
Saucepanman · 10/08/2009 01:04

Oh melbob, I couldnt not post after reading, I am so sorry, for her and for you, for going through this. Is there any way you can visit her soon? If not just be there for her at the end of the phone. I am so sorry, and I am sure someone else will be along in a minute that will be of more use than I have. I will keep them and you in my prayers.

Original poster
melbob · 10/08/2009 01:08

I will go down this week prob thurs. She's not talking to anyone at the moment not even her DH adn other DS. Thanks SPM

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 10/08/2009 01:13

god, i'm so sorry. it's the worst nightmare come true, isn't it? peace to your poor friend and the family. and you.

cathcat · 10/08/2009 01:17

I'm so sorry for you all. You will find ways to help and comfort her and her family, keep being there for her.

cat64 · 10/08/2009 01:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mulranno · 12/08/2009 12:10

little and often is he best way to help. might be over whelmed with offers of support now but she will need her friends to support her for years and years to come...keep it simple keep it frequent....just listen...dont try to make her better

chegirl · 12/08/2009 13:50

I echo mulranno . Your friend will need you for a long time to come. Long after the others have faded away. She will need you to remember and talk about her boy and allow her to be bereaved for ever, not just for as long as others deem is 'healthy'

I am so sorry for you BF. My DD died aged 14. The hole she left is so huge, so vast. I have a very small group of friends who help me through. Most of all they understand that I am now forever different. I wont get 'better'. You cannot make the pain go away, dont even try. You can support her and allow her to grieve.

I am really sorry.

OrmIrian · 12/08/2009 13:51

oh melbob I have a 12yr old DS and I couldn't cope if anything happened to him. Thinking of you and your poor friend.

ClaireDeLoon · 12/08/2009 13:57

melbob I'm so very sorry

OnlyWantsOne · 12/08/2009 13:58

Oh Melbob that's aweful :-(

cocolepew · 12/08/2009 14:00

That's awful, so sorry.

grouchyoscar · 12/08/2009 14:01

Melbob, so for your friend and for you too.

You may not be there in person but she'll know you're thinking of her

CarrieBo · 12/08/2009 14:15

I'm so sorry
A friend who was widowed in her mid 20s said that she valued a friend who didn't live locally but phoned her every day for many months. She would say it was fine just to cry down the phone, and my friend valued that so much. I was speaking to another friend about grief yesterday (we have a friend who's just gone into a hospice) and she said when her mum died there was lots of immediate help, but its 6m, 1y, 2y later when the help had evaporated but they were still struggling, then they needed friends. Everyone else's lives had moved on, but theirs hadn't.
to you all.

bubblagirl · 12/08/2009 14:30

oh so sorry to hear this my thoughts and best wishes are with your friend and her family x

Wanderingsheep · 12/08/2009 15:24

How awful. I. can't imagine what they must be going through. I'm so sorry.

hippipotamiHasLost55lbs · 12/08/2009 15:32

I am so sorry, how awful

Lizzylou · 12/08/2009 15:34

That is so sad, hoping that you can support and comfort your friend, Melbob

MamaG · 12/08/2009 15:37

So sorry to hear this melbob, for you and your friend

HumphreyCobbler · 12/08/2009 15:46

So sorry

noddyholder · 12/08/2009 15:47

i am so sorry

Mamazon · 12/08/2009 15:49

oh that is terrible news.
Im so very sorry for you all.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page