Probably not the right place but I feel bereft

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

My poor Dad is really ill. He's at the end of his days and it's so painful to watch. I've not really been able to talk about it as I'm trying to be strong for everyone else. My DH is supportive but not in an instinctive way. I'm soooo tired looking after the two kids and going up and down to visit him in hospital and with each drive back home, I'm wondering if it's the last time I'll see him alive. I'm fine one minute and then burst into tears the next.

I feel ashamed to be moaning on here as my Mum and others seem to get on with it without feeling so sorry for themselves. I wish I was more positive about it because he has had a good life but I feel I'm mourning for someone who is still with us. He has dementia, lymphoma, kidney problems and had a mini stroke last week. I'm just wondering what else nature is going to fling at him. He's just a shadow of his former self.

Thanks for reading this far.

Voluptua -I can empathise with how you feel. My Dad has Alzheimers and nearly died last year with the Norovirus. I came to mumsnet looking for support because I thought the end was close. 18 months later he is still here! Don't look too far to the future and make the most of your visits when you are there. Take care.

Hi folks. It's been a week now. I had a wee holiday for five days though didn't particularly enjoy it. Having not seen Dad in a week he's deteriorated a lot. Last night was really hard.

Am feeling guilty coz I find it hard to visit and generally I just want to stay in my bed and sleep which is ridiculous.

DH making noises about going away for a couple of days even though I've asked him not to so feeling crap about that too.

So la-de-da

Hi folks

My Dad passed away peacefully last Wednesday. He had a smile on his face right at the end. Whilst we are all very sad, we know he is in a better place and we are now going to celebrate his life in a memorial service as he left his body to medical science, bless'im!

Thanks for all your kind comments. I'm feeling fine, relieved almost but glad to have been able to call such a wonderful man my Daddy! x

Hi,

I am really sorry to hear that your dad has passed away.

I can understand exactly how you are feeling. My dearly beloved dad passed away 3 weeks ago and I miss him terribly.

I too know he is in a better place and free from all the pain he was in, but it still doesn't make it easy.

Take care and look after yourself x