Sympathy card etiquette - what shall I write?

[PrettyUselessHousewife]

My auntie has died - it was pretty sudden - a matter of weeks from finding out she was ill.

She was really important to me and I'd like to send my uncle a card saying as much and letting him know I'm thinking of him. But I feel hypocritical saying how much I'll miss her when I hadn't actually seen her since last summer (they do live a long way away and we have a toddler and a business we're desperately trying to keep afloat through the recession). I honestly thought she would live another twenty years or so and that I had all the time in the world to visit .

So can I say that she meant a lot to me and I'll miss her or should I stick to bland "sorry for your loss" type words? I've never sent a condolences card to a family member before and have no idea what's appropriate really.

I'm so sorry for your loss, PUH. I would write almost exactly what you wrote here - tell him how much she meant to you then say that you felt you had all the time on the world to see her. People can understand that - we all do it. I remember sending a card to a family friend whose husband had died - I told her that, though I had not seen them for some years (had moved to hte other end of the country), whenever I thought of Gordon I saw him laughing his great big belly laugh, with a glass of red in his hand. When the wife saw my mother a couple of months later, she said it meant a lot to know that people saw him like that, and that that wa their memory of him.

Bit of a waffle - hope some of it helps.