I lost my lovely mum seven years ago to cancer when my ds was five and dd was nine weeks old. She was the most lovely, warm, caring nanny anyone could ever wish for and idolised my children and my niece.
My mil and fil and his second wife, however, don't bother with my children AT ALL and it has caused all sorts of anger and heartache. Fil and step mil just can't be arsed and are completely self-obsessed.
Mil and I had a big falling out when ds was very little and we didn't see her for a while but my mum intervened (she was stopped from seeing my niece when she was little - through absolutely no fault of her own and it destroyed her) and things got better mil and I tolerated each other.
However, nearly a year ago she completely went against my wishes in relation to something about ds and then proceded to undermine me in front of him (and dh) and blatantly said I was being unreasonable blah blah blah.
Dh just let her rant at me 
, so I told her to go and she hasn't made any effort since to see the dc's. Dh goes to see her occasionally and she gives him the 'Woe is me' act but he's told her she needs to at least apologise for her behaviour that night but she still doesnt!
It doesn't bother me that she doesn't see the dc's because they used to moan whenever she babysat anyway and they've said they don't miss going to see her (that breaks my heart in itself because ds was so close to my mum and adored her) and I haven't stopped her from seeing them - just stopped taking them to see her and as she lives in the same town as us, I find it all really difficult.
My dad found a new partner a year after my mum died and is totally wrapped up in her and her family and although we probably see him every month or so, it's not the same as when my mum was here.
All in all, my children have four living grandparents/step grandparents and none of them bother with them but the one grandparent that adored them and would have spent so much time and energy on them, sadly isn't here.
I'm angry about that. Very angry 