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Original poster

on this day last year

73 replies

onlyjoking9329 · 25/05/2009 23:18

we had an early birthday for our girls as DH(steve) was not expected to be alive for their birthday, today abbey and bethan have talked about this day last year they have a thing about dates and i have found today really tough, they seem ok about it and i think their autism protects them from the emotional aspects of it all, i cant believe that it is 50 weeks since steve died.
there is no point to this post i just wanted to type it all out so to speak, i am struggling with stuff at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 31/05/2009 11:11

Sorry I haven't got back to this until now,
Thanks for all your kind words of support, it feels too difficult at the moment but I know that will change as time and life moves onwards.
Steve and were together 24/7 and I still miss him 24/7.

OP posts:
slackrunner · 31/05/2009 11:16

Thinking of you all OJ xx

nickschick · 31/05/2009 11:23

OJ&Mb xx

mulranno · 06/06/2009 00:36

OJ...feeling for you in the coming weeks xxx

DadInsteadofMum · 06/06/2009 09:28

On this day lasy year.

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 06/06/2009 16:38

thinking of you today dadinsteadofmum as i know it is a year today since your wife died.
x

OP posts:
psychomum5 · 06/06/2009 16:46

oh OJ, the time has gone so fast!

mamadiva · 06/06/2009 16:55

Hi OJ,

I was new to MN this time last year but your posts always stuck out to me, I don't think I ever posted because I did'nt know what to say.

I just wanted to say I am sorry you are finding it hard at the moment, I can't begin to imagine how you are coping but you and your girls are so strong and brave.

I'm sure Steve will be looking down upon you proudly for all you have been through in the last year.

My regards to you and your girls x

sassy · 06/06/2009 17:06

Hi OJ.

This is a dreadful time for you with those final anniversaries coming up. Just try to hold on to the thought that once the whole year has turned around, you will hae faced all the dates once and survived. The second year may ne just as hard in many ways (it was our experience whne my Mum died young) but the number of 'firsts' is reduced. We found that helped us in starting to get a little better.

sassy · 06/06/2009 17:07

And my good wishes to you too, dadinsteadof mum.

My Dad was (and is) enormously important to us. I am sure your dc feel the same way.

FabulousBakerGirl · 06/06/2009 17:09

OJ

I was thinking of you this morning (it's N) but wasn't sure what to text without saying the wrong thing.

I am sorry you are finding things are hard. Is there anything I can do to help?

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 06/06/2009 17:29

it is abbey and bethans birthday tomorrow the 7th june and we are doing a party.
the 8th june last year was when we did fathers day a week early which was an extra memory for me and the kids and just as well cos steve died on the 9th of june, i think he wanted to be here for the girls birthday and fathers day too.
'in-laws are still kicking off so no change there then!

OP posts:
psychomum5 · 06/06/2009 17:31

they're going to be 14 aren;t they!

happy birthday for them tomorrow

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 06/06/2009 17:40

they will be 15

OP posts:
psychomum5 · 06/06/2009 17:41

15

OMG!!!

I was sure they were younger than my DD1 for some reason. wow, thats gone quick!

how is DS??

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 06/06/2009 17:51

i am not sure it has gone quickly for us, been a bit of a blur mostly
(or is that cos of the rum?)
the kids are doing ok mostly i think.

Baker girl, good to see you around. nothing you can do other than caryying on sending me very much needed hit men good wishes.

OP posts:
FabulousBakerGirl · 06/06/2009 17:56

I have been crap lately as a friend to you and my only excuse has been it has been a trying few months.

Love to you all.

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 06/06/2009 18:05

dont worry i know you have a lot to deal with and to be fair i have not been around here very much

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 06/06/2009 18:10

Thinking of you and your family, OJ.

I can't believe it is almost a year already.

ZipadiSoozi · 06/06/2009 22:18

Thinking of you and your precious dc

EdnaBucket · 06/06/2009 22:21

They say you need a year and a day to begin to accept a loss - to get over all the anniversaries and begin to try to move on.

Sorry you've had to face all this.

Lilyloo · 06/06/2009 22:21

OJ wow a year and your girls 15 time moves on regardless nothing surer than that !
I wondered if you were still around or lurking!

MerlinsBeard · 06/06/2009 22:22

OJ, was only thinking of you this afternoon. I am glad you are still posting, do you get much RL support as well?(obv not from MIL!)

Original poster
onlyjoking9329 · 07/06/2009 11:41

time does move on, i think i was numb when steve first died and althou we had fathers day a few days later and then our wedding anniversary i got throu them on auto mode and didnt do the full force of feelings so now i am doing them with feeling switched on if that makes any kind of sense.
my lovely mate is still very supportive and debs the mac nurse is coming tomorrow, we are still trying to get overnight respite for the kids sorted out, we have been given 24 nights a year but, we dont have any familes to do them yet.
we have a morning helper who comes on school morning which is a huge help.

OP posts:
mulranno · 08/06/2009 11:08

OJ...I have found that the lead up to events this year (mothers day, Christmas etc) have been much worse than the actual day...maybe I was grieving thru the anticipation or got to the day, stopped fighting...just rolled over and let it happen. Might be too early for you this year but a the family of my good friend...have a family day out on the anniversary of her mother and have been doing this for the last 20 years...so the extended family take the day off work and school and go to the beach, zoo, picnic whatever...it allows them to all be together and share memories through tears and laughter....thinking about you and your family at this painful time..M