My friend was found dead in his house today :-(

[Claire2009]

I lived in France for 5yrs up till Feb 2008, I had a very very good friend there whom I saw almost everyday.

I got a call tonight from his son, his Father (my v v good friend) was found dead in his house this afternoon
I know nothing more than that right now but I've cried and cried like never before

I dont get it, my Mum died in '96, G'dad in 05 & G'dad in 08 and I've never cried about that but this has broken me

I actually feel physically sick about my friend dying, he was living alone with 2 dogs and his friend in the Uk called one of his neighbours explaining how she'd not heard from him for a couple of days and could the neighbour check on him

Sorry I'm not sure why I am posting but I feel lost, I am so so upset at him passing & yet am wondering why I have never felt like this before to other family members passing

He was called Derek & my dd used to call him "Der"

Oh no, what a terrible shock for you

Don't scrutinise your reaction too closely, every bereavement is different and you need to let yourself feel whatever you are feeling without comparing it to other griefs, or thinking about how you "should" be reacting

I can see why it has hit you so hard, this is someone you saw every day for a long time - you were probably missing him anyway, and to lose him like this is just awful

Be gentle with yourself xx

Thanks. My head is pounding but I don't feel 'ready' for sleep

I know that feeling well, it's crap isn't it

Do you have a not-too-gripping book you could read, or some nice music you could put on to help you relax?

It's not surprising that you are feeling devastated by this. It sounds as though it has come completely out of the blue for you. Also it might have disturbed some feelings about your other bereavements. Give yourself time.

I really feel for you... how awful to lose a dear friend like this. So sorry for your pain.
Sending love and a

So sorry to hear your news. Theres no right or wrong way to grieve, and not crying for your relatives doesn't mean you didn't care.

Sorry again about your friend. I lost a friend last year very suddenly and it is a real shock. Be kind to yourself x

I've switched the tv off, I had some music playing on the laptop but stopped it. All I can hear now is the dog snoring & whirring from the laptop.

My head hurts, I think I'll take a paracetamol & try and get some sleep, even when I'm not crying I've a lump in my throat iukwim

Thankyou xxx

I hope you get some proper rest Claire, and post again tomorrow if you want to xx

Crap nights sleep, the little bit I did get I think I cried myself to sleep

I can't stop thinking about him, all on his own

I am so sorry

Oh how sad So sorry.

Sorry to hear your news,

I think it is harder when a friend dies, as we think of them as an equal re age, interests etc , we don't "expect" our friends to die.

Probably haven't put that very well, take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve in whatever way you want to. Just because we might grieve in different ways for our relatives, doesn't mean to say we loved them any less.

So sorry for your loss

Oh Claire, so sorry to hear this.

He's been dead for 3 days, when he was found.

3 days was a guesstimate from someone else. Not sure who..

But it was confirmed today he died of internal bleeding in his sleep & was dead for 10 days.

I can't stop thinking about it, its heartbreaking every spare minute its there and I'm crying

I can only keep so busy. His dog has been put into a rescue already, I'm going to France next week to get her & put her into quarantine here in the Uk.

That's so sad. Poor you.

What a horrible piece of news.

Take care of yourself - and don't worry about how you're reacting. Grief takes us in different ways.