Feeling sad about something that happened 20 years ago

[squeaver]

20 years ago this weekend someone I knew died. He was 22. I'd like to say he was my boyfriend but we'd only just started seeing each other (although we'd been friends for over a year and had had a protracted flirt before getting together).

I was in my last year at Uni, just about to sit my finals.

Obviously at the time it was horrendous for all of us who knew him. I often think about him, especially at this time of year. But this year, for some reason, I feel quite overwhelmed.

This seems ridiculous, but I miss him. I miss how he made me laugh, I miss all the unspoken possibilities that went with the start of a relationship. I miss that time of my life, I suppose.

Anyway, I just wanted to write this down somewhere. It's not my usual sort of post on MN and I'm not looking for any advice or any responses.

I understand how you feel - when we were 22, my best friend died of cancer. I still think to myself when major things happy (happy or sad) how I still miss her and would have loved to have shared all those life experiences with her.

My husband and I also lost our best friend in a car accident 3.5 years ago. We used to do everything with them - going out, holidays just hanging out in general. He would have been God father to our children. We've never had them Christened.

I don't think you ever stop missing them. Glad I've stopped making a tit of myself though. Not long after our friend died, my DH and I went to a party and they started playing a song that we all used to sing along to when slightly toasted. We both just started blubbing... really embarrasing!

Totally understand how you feel.

Thank you for replying and I'm so sorry to hear about your friends.

I know what you mean about major life experiences. It's weird to think how much I've been through in the last 20 years and he never got to do any of it.