bit of a shock- but need some advice re possible muslim funeral

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God this is going to be long!

Just had a phonecall from dh's business partner. His wife fell down the stairs last night, broke her neck and passed away at 12.10am this morning. Very sad especially as there are 4 children involved

BUT what i need is some advice on muslim tradition etc. S (the husband) is muslim (albeit not strict) T converted to muslim before she married. To be honest in all the time we've known them they have been somewhat slack on the whole religion thing, however a year ago S&T moved nearer to S's (very strictly muslim) family and were accepted back into the fold as it were.

SO- the long and short of it is it could well be a very traditional muslim/islamic funeral etc. I just don't know as we haven't really seen each other in a year and i don't know what's really been happening.

Now, i know that ideally the funeral should be within 24 hours of death- but with the way she died i guess they will have some sort of investigation into her death- so what happens then, are there special procedures for the coroner in cases like these?

And lastly in a totally shallow way- what should i wear- do i need to cover my hair etc. Will dh and i be able to sit together or will we be separated (ie men one side women the other?)

It just seems that it could all be arranged so quickly and it will take us 4.5 hours to get there so i need to get everything sorted now so that we can go at the drop of a hat.

That is very sad.

I have found this info for you

As with any religious funeral, the planning of a Muslim funeral should take place with members and leaders of the Muslim community. Islamic laws and customs will guide this planning process, which begins from the moment it becomes clear that a Muslim is close to death. When it becomes known that a Muslim is dying, family members should be at his or her side. During this time family members should help the dying to think of his or her own transgressions, to ask for forgiveness and then to ponder Allah's mercy and forgiveness.

Upon Death
If the death occurs at home, relatives should call emergency services in order to have the death registered and a death certificate released. If a death occurs in a hospital or other institution, relatives should not attempt to move the body until a death certificate is released. Upon death, those with the deceased should close the eyes of the deceased, bind the deceased's lower jaw to his head and cover the body with a clean sheet. It is the duty of the deceased's family to wash the body in accordance with Islamic rites. Unless a spouse is present, males will only wash males and females will only wash females. The washing should take place in a private place, with water, soap and a cloth, and be carried out three or five times. After washing, the body should be shrouded with white material. Embalming the body of a deceased Muslim is prohibited, and having the body undergo an autopsy is prohibited unless it is required by law.

Funeral Prayers
Funeral prayers (Salat-ul-Janazah) is a collective obligation for Muslims, so the community should perform these prayers with the deceased's family. Often these prayers will take place outside of the Mosque or prayer room, for example in an activity room. The purpose of these prayers is to request pardons for the deceased and all deceased Muslims. These prayers may not take place at certain times of the day (according to the sun's progression) and almost all of them are said silently. The man most closely related to the deceased will lead these prayers, though the Imam or another knowledgeable Muslim may do so if needed.

Burial
Only men attend Muslim burials, and only Muslim men should put the body of the deceased in the grave. Females should only be put in the grave by a male relative. After the burial all Muslims may stay and Supplicate for the deceased. Marking the grave is permitted, however decorating the grave or allow constructing on top of it is not. Cremation is prohibited for Muslims, even if it is requested. After the burial loved ones observe a three day mourning period. Widows will observe a longer mourning period.

The preparation and burial of a deceased Muslim occurs according to Islamic law and custom. The family actively participates throughout the preparations, prayers and burial as does the wider Muslim community. Particularly in non-Muslim countries this time can be challenging as obtaining necessary items and following procedures that are not common in particular locations can be difficult.

Hope this helps

thanks- i'm still drawing a blank on the wearing a scarf over my hair- some sites are saying yes do it- others are saying don't!

And to top it all off dh says he needs his funeral suit dry cleaned- its a fecking saturday and we may have to go any time!

I gather i will have to sit separate from dh in the mosque- i don't really understand what will happen at all really, just seems so sureal.

More info - a Muslim funeral requires women to wear head scarves in the mosque for the services. When in doubt, take a scarf just in case. Muslim and Buddhist funerals will also require guests to remove their shoes upon entering the mosque or temple.

Muslim women wear head scarves for traditional reasons, and because it is in keeping with the commandments of Allah. Through Muhammad, Allah?s words are that women should be modest, and cover their beauties like their hair and their chest. At home among family and in front of their husband, Muslim women do not need to wear head scarves.

It should be noted that not all Muslim women wear head scarves. Some wear both head covering and veil, called the Niqab. Others wear merely simple head scarves called Khimar. The Burqa and Chador cover the woman from head to foot, and are worn in some Muslim countries. All clothing that is said to follow the laws of Allah is called Hijab.

However, some modern Muslim women feel that such covering is not important at all. It is a common misconception that all Muslim women dress the same. While many do cover their heads with head scarves, many don?t cover, and wear more westernized style clothing. Still clothing should be simple and not be meant to attract men or express vanity, according to the Qur?an.

Wearing head scarves is not simply a Muslim practice. Covering the head in temple in the Jewish tradition is equally important. Hassidic Jewish women shave their heads upon marriage and wear wigs. In the Christian tradition, until recently, it was thought to be very vain to not wear hats or head scarves when attending church. All these traditions stress modesty, and elaborate hair styling, or even showing the hair is thought to be vain, which is a sin.

Just as in the Muslim world, many Christians no longer find it necessary to cover the hair. Many Jewish sects still require the head to be covered by all men, and by women as a sign of respect and modesty. However, some Jewish sects have a more lax dress code.

While wearing head scarves in Muslim tradition may be thought of by many Westerners as oppressive, it is often simply a traditional part of local dress. Further, unless one lives in a restrictive, theocratic country, wearing head scarves is optional. Many Muslim women also find it saves time to don a scarf rather than to style the hair. They argue that women who must spend so much time before a mirror each morning to style their hair are experiencing oppression by fashion dictates.