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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

My mum died this morning.

51 replies

tots2ten · 20/03/2009 21:50

Following on from the conversation i had with my mum on sunday, when she asked me if she was coming home to die.

We brought her home from the hospital on Tuesday. She died this morning, with my dad, sister and brother all sitting with her.

She was diagnosed with lung cancer in August last year.

It was the most surreal experience i have ever had. It was so peaceful. she was unsettled until my sister arrived, then seemed to go to sleep. she took her last breath at 10.15am.

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WowOoo · 22/03/2009 08:58

So sorry. How lovely that she died peacefully at home with family though.
X

Peachy · 22/03/2009 09:01

I'm so sorry . FWIW it sounds as if she had the end most people would choose, and you all did a wonderful thing arranging that.

My thoughts are with you.

tots2ten · 22/03/2009 13:36

JB, the dc's are ok, dd1 is in a strop today, dd2 decided to remind me that i havent got a mum to send a mothers day card to which was nice of her.

OP posts:

ThingOne · 22/03/2009 13:38

That must have been hard. Thinking of you.

VinegarTitsCoveredinChocolate · 22/03/2009 13:43

Sorry you have lost your mum tots2ten, on today of all days, that is so sad

Nabster · 22/03/2009 13:52

I am so sorry for your loss.

Take care of yourself.

BouncingTurtle · 22/03/2009 13:54

Sorry for your loss, tots2ten.

Nothing to add except what others have said - she died peacefully surrounded by her loved ones, and she is now free of pain. I hope you will find some consolation in this once the grief feels less raw.

purpleduck · 22/03/2009 13:54

So sorry

nowwearefour · 22/03/2009 13:55

i am so very sorry for your loss. your post brought tears to my eyes.

Buda · 22/03/2009 13:57

So sorry for your loss tots2ten.

FWIW not sure how old your DD2 is but she is prob grieving too and taking it out on you - the person she knows will love her always no matter what.

JackBauer · 22/03/2009 14:05

Ouch. Sorry they are being stroppy, that's all you need. Hopefully (as others have said) once the grief is less raw and they have accepted it a little they might be easier to deal with. DD1 would always have taken it hardest out of them though. Is just so crappy that you are having to go throught this

(Didn't want to text or anything as I don't want to disturb, hence leaving messages here. Please use me next week for babysitting etc or just come round for a cuppa if you want a break/natter/rant, I have nothing important on)

BoysAreLikeDogs · 22/03/2009 14:16

I am so sorry for your loss

Kimi · 22/03/2009 14:16

Thinking of you today

Bucharest · 22/03/2009 14:17

Much love and strength.

dittany · 22/03/2009 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 22/03/2009 14:28

Tots

I am so sorry.

Your DM was waiting for your sister to arrive.

When my MIL dying, my DH was in Ireland on business.

Those that could got to her hospice bed, I told her that DH was on his way.

We kept her informed every step of the the way, he is in Dublin Airport, the flight is delayed, he has landed at Stansted, he is on the M11, he is on the M25, he is nearly here.

He came in and said hello Mater, then whispered I am here now I love you, you go if you need to.

She died 30 minutes later.

I truly believe she waited for him.

Disenchanted3 · 22/03/2009 14:32

tots2ten my grandad died the night before your mum at 10:20pm of lung cancer. He wanted to go home to die but could not. it was very peaceful though.

so i know exctly what you are feeling.

im here if you want to talk privatly

(((())))

Ledodgy · 22/03/2009 14:32

So sorry for your loss.

TotalChaos · 22/03/2009 14:33

very sorry tots2ten

BouncingTurtle · 22/03/2009 15:19

I totally agree with Bree.
When my Nanny died, the timing couldn't have been more perfect for her children - my aunt (her eldest daughter) lives in SA and was visiting for 3 weeks when Nanny took a turn for the worse - she had had a series of mini-stokes and developed pneumonia. In addition, her eldest son was 5 hours drive away.
She managed to hang on until he arrived, and died not long after - with all 5 of her children and my cousin (her eldest grandchild)there with her.
Because of the timing, they were able to arrange the funeral before my aunt had to return back home.

LilRedWG · 22/03/2009 17:42

Tots, I am so sorry for your loss. My parents died last month, so I totally empathise.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. x

MsSpentYouth · 22/03/2009 17:47

I am sorry for your loss x

cocolepew · 22/03/2009 17:57

Sorry for your loss.

Lulumama · 22/03/2009 17:58

am very sorry for your loss

tots2ten · 22/03/2009 19:32

Disenchanted3, im sorry to hear about your grandad, i remember you replying to a earlier thread when my mum was diagnosed.

Its been a stange day. i cooked sunday lunch for everyone, but there was a plate missing. normally if mam wasn't upto coming for lunch, we would always put a dinner up and take it down to her. It was so odd not to do a plate for her.

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