Was widowed nearly 9 years ago but all this Jade stuff is dragging up some bad memories :(

[Monkeyandbooba]

Lost DH1 to NHL in June 2000, we organised our wedding in a week when we were told the cancer has returned - there are a number of parallels with Jade's situation. Feel like someone is opening some (well healed) wounds and not quite sure what to do about it.

Not sure what advice anyone can offer other than avoid the media at the moment

Just feel a bit vulnerable.

sorry you are feeling so low
cant think waht to say just wanted you to know we are here to listen

do you have children together? tell us about your wedding if it will help a little

Aw thanks Nailpolish you are very kind

It was an amazing day, everyone rallied around to make sure we had the best day of our lives. I was working for a well known car magazine at the time and they lent us a sports car to travel to the ceremony in and for our wedding night away. He had to go into hospital for chemo on the Monday after the wedding, the ward sister put us in a single room with two beds together because we had just got married 60 people turned up to the ceremony and reception, some cancelling holidays and other plans so they could be with us - it was an amazing. We buried him 4mths later

its good to have lovely memories
i bet he was so happy to have you there for him by his side

Really sorry to hear that. x

you know what it is good to acknowledge feelings even the tough stuff.have a glass of wine,get a friend over,look at the photos and reminisce.all about your dh and the people he impacted upon

it is particularly raw,when a media event has real emotional significance and ouch it hurts.give your self permission to feel ad,even teary.there is no time limit on grief.

my friend died from NHL. we all got together with photos,mementoes,cd's had a send off party.a wake felt wrong.too sad for such a happy man.lots of laughter.lots of tears

take care

It's difficult because I have since remarried and have two gorgeous children, I feel i don't have the right anymore to grieve. Also Jade's situation reminds me that none of us are immune and I couldn't bear to go through all that again.

i do understand how that must be difficult for you
have you mentioned to your husband how you are feeling? be honest with him and tell him you need a big cuddle
i bet he understnads too

grief can be for anyhting in our lives - the loss of a big part of our lives not just a person. or a part of ourselves.

Of course you have the right to grieve. Loving someone else doesn't make the loss any less.

Monkey im sorry for you my mum died of cervical cancer and got married in christies hospital days before she died - its a bit like a scab that never completely heals theres always a tender bit ready to reopen.

Life does move on it has to- ive grown up im not an 11 yr old child anymore you are remarried and have 2 dc but that old wounds right there.

oh nicks thats very sad

tis a long story but the bloke she married had 3 life insurance policies for her all payable on her death to her next of kin.

oh nicks im sorry to hear that
try to focus on your mum and how she loved you

ty nailpolish - she did have a lovely day.

The Jade stuff is bound to bring stuff up and it is very difficult to ignore as its everywhere, or maybe its that we notice this stuff once we have been affected by it.
just cos it is 9 years ago and you have remarried don't mean it won't still upset you, thou other people might be keen to think you have forgotten cos it is much easier for them to think that.
My husbamd died from Cancer 9 months ago and i am avoiding the news as it is too much at the moment.
give yourself time and space to be upset and find someone who understands that and allows you to feel whatever you need to feel right now.

Thanks OJ, it is hard to find someone who 'gets' it I do try and explain it in the context of having children that just because you have one doesn't mean you won't love another at the same time. Our hearts have room for lots of different people.