Wanted to give you some hope

[jmh]

I'm new, but wish I'd had mumsnet a few years ago. I have had 7 miscarriages all around 12 weeks and not 1 of them have I "got over" you don't and I don't think you should do, what happens is you come to terms with them. It turned out that I had a problem with my blood which thickens to protect a growing baby except mine was thickening too much and suffogating them. I was referred after my 3rd miscarriage to St Marys in Paddington who have a Recurrant Miscarriage Clinic. I have to inject myself twice a day in my thighs when I was pregnant with my daughter (6th pregnancy) and only once a day with my son (8th pregnancy) I have 2 beautiful children now. My experiences didn't make me a better mum, but maybe a bit wiser. Have hope and do include your partner I received flowers, cards and phone calls asking how I was but ignoring my husbands feelings completely. He needed to grieve and talk about it too.

I agree with your sentiments, jmh, having had 2 m/c. Men are often, unfairly, left out of this altogether.

jmh, thanks for your post. I had 2 m/cs and although I now have 3 lovely kids, you do remember the ones that might have been and maybe thats as it should be. Completely agree about the husband/partner. My d.h. had to telephone my parents with the news that we had lost our second baby and my dad says he will never forget the complete despair and sadness as my d.h. sobbed down the telephone. Thanks for sharing your experiences xxx

jmh, thanks for your post and a big welcome to Mumsnet. Although not a candidate for St Mary's I read up on the work of that fantastic unit when I lost a baby at 22 weeks last year and was being screened for disorders etc which sound like what you had. No cause for my baby's death was found but I agree totally about trying to keep partners included and involved - thankfully most of our friends were great like that - and about having hope for the future. Your daughter and son must be especially precious to you both.