how do i get through xmas?

[shouldhavebeenblonde]

my husband died 2 months ago, i have three smallchildren and one on the way, and i have absolutely no idea how to get through xmas. this is made a million times worse by the fact that the inlaws are coming and they seem to be being all jolly and excited about it. has anyone got any words of advice?

No rules.

...you do what is right for you.

I didn't do any of those commemorative things, it was what felt right at the time.

Who knows if I was right or not? Not me for sure.

...if you feel you WANT to do something to mark his absence/presence in your thoughts then do so. Don't be put off by worrying about others, not at the moment, it is too raw for you. Even for the children. They might need to do something, too. Even if they don't, I really really doubt that a small act of remembrance would do them any harm. However if you do not want to, no-one should expect you to, either....

Good luck with your choice, whatever one you make will be the right one for you.

May I ask what right you two have to continue your discussion here. melissa75 I appreciate you posted when shouldhave originally posted but I would ask you to respect the fact that this is her thread and it had long since finished. By accident she stumbled across this tonight, can I ask you both to have some respect and continue your war of words elsewhere.

Melissa I am extremely sorry for your losses and Feenie I dont know your story but would imagine neither of you would like a brawl to spill over into one of your threads.

shouldhavebeenblonde...... sorry for my jumping to your defence but what else are big sisters for......love you x

melissa and feenie, the only place I seem to be able to find you both is in the educational threads..... am now even more as to why you are both here ??

Total lack of respect from both of you !

don't want to bump this any more than it has been, so I'll keep this short.

Melissa & Feenie... how dare you have your little bunfight on a thread such as this?

I am and speechless at your lack of respect or empathy.

Seriously, this is not the place. Take it elsewhere.

Shouldhavebeenblonde - I sincerely hope you are finding things easier as time passes.

Vaginashmergine - I am about to report this to MN. I applaud you for jumping to your sister's defence, but I really think their posts should be deleted.

I have read your posts and I am sorry for what you have had to endure melissa75, however please explain the relevance of continuing a personal "thing" (for want of a better word) with feenie. You did not come back specifically to support shouldhavebeenblonde but to continue you war of words with feenie and her followers. The last post was on the 23rd December FFS it's not as if it was even a current one, so you must have specifically selected it

Feenie at least had the manners and respect to apologise for posting here and had not returned, unless you have something valuable to contribute to blonde then I suggest you do the same. You of all people should understand, and I wonder how you would have responded in that first initial horrific period if somebody had done the same to a post of yours ?