This is getting near the end isn't it? :-(

[MrsClausinJimmyChoos]

As regulars know my MIL is terminally ill with cancer.

The last few days she has gone downhill again...she is barely leaving the bed and struggling to even go to the toilet. Her stools are very fatty and floating - I believe this is a sign the fats aren't being absorbed? She has become a lot more jaundiced as well and spends the day drifting in and out of sleep...pain levels are so far, thank God, manageable.

Her memory seems fine again so we think it may have been the drugs causing temporary disorentation. She isn't interested in what is going on around her and only holds short conversations. She's also very...well, not bad tempered but just not tolerant of any conversation now..

This is near the end isn't it? :-(

It does sound as if she is getting towards the terminal stage of her illness,I'm afraid.Unfortunately no one can predict a "Timespan" for how long it will take

The important thing is that she can be as pain free as possible.

IIRC your Mil is overseas so I do not know how they manage palliative care out there?If she is struggling to get on/off the toilet could she be cathterised by Doctor/district nurse equivalent?Would this be permitted?This would negate the need for he to have to get up/down if it is giving her discomfort?

If she is mainly bedbound then often they provide "Pressure relief" matresses to prevent bedsores here,again I am unsure how this would be accessed in MIL case.

Other comfort measures include things like frequent mouthcare if she is unable to eat/drink.

I'm very sorry you are having such sad news xxx

No palliative care nurses - the brother and sister are doing it all. They have Drs visiting a lot so I guess they will do the catheterisation etc when they need to...although my research has led me to understand that at some point, the urine and stool output will decrease dramatically as the illness progresses....

Very stressful...is it bad to feel that I want this over with now? Her quality of life is shit...you wouldn't even let a dog live like this....

I guess the MOST important factor is that she is surrounded by a close and loving family.

{{{{{{hug}}}}

Wrinkly xxx

Do you think she would like things like music?

It isn't bad to feel like this

It is normal.

I have (Unfortunately) witnessed a lot of deaths.It is very hard on family having to watch their loved one at such a time.

Oh bless her,and your DH, and you too

It's not unkind at all to wish it be all over v soon.

Sending you strength

Ermm..no, its in the Middle East so would be relevant verses from the Koran and things like that..kind of like music as its chanted though..

I think it is very common that when a person has reached this stage, there is a feeling of wanting it to be over. No matter how much someone means to you, if they have reached a certain point you know that there is nothing here for them, no remains of the life they had before the illness. I felt it was like knowing a friend was in labour and waiting for the news to come, but it never came.
Conversation - well, again once a person has reached a certain point a lot of conversation becomes meaningless to them. I remember telling my dad I had bought a new camera and he just looked at me like he was thinking 'why are you telling me this? How can I relate that to what I am going through?' But however tough it was it was also a privilege to be there for him.
sorry, rambling. thinking of you.

It's not awful to wish it over at all - she's not having a good time, there's no miracle cure, so you just think "what are we hanging on for?"
Let's hope she remains comfortable until the end

Wrinkly - is the breathing changing a sign? Her breathing is getting more raspy....I've read that is due to the build up of fluids in the lungs as the body can no longer break anything down?

She hasn't eaten anything for about 4 days now except her daily protein shake thing and two dates

Is the next stage a coma or??

also - how long can people go without eating in situations such as this?

bump

yes the breathing is a sign of the lungs and fluid, I am sorry

Mrs CJC no one knows for sure. I do know how you feel and I am sending you sincere good wishes

the waiting is awful...DH is in bits..I'm not doing that much better