Gloria Hunniford - Always with you - has helped me

[mulranno]

My Mum died on oct 11th from overian cancer. She was 63 fit healthy fabulous. She had abdominal pain in July, emergency surgery in August. I read GH book cover to cover in the days after her death. It is a compilation of letters, poems etc that she received from people after the death of he daughter. She recounts her own experience of grief. I have found it immensely comforting. I have bought it for all of my 7 siblings and we refer to it often. For me it has reassured me that I will get thru this. It is has provided me with a loose road map of grief. A piece that resonated with me was that it was like standing with you back to the sea - sometimes a wave will come and get you it might last an hour a day but you will surface again. My sister wrote to GH after reading the book and got the most beautiful supportive letter back. Has anyone else read it? What do you think?

Dear Everlong I am so so sorry for your pain. Your message has just pinged me back from a weepy moment - GH - discusses this a lot there are always others suffering a greater loss than you. I hope you can take some comfort from the book.

yes it did it taught me that I am not alone, that grief has common threads that if you can recognise /understand what you will go thru it will be some sort of anchor/ reference point although not make the pain any less. My lovely Mum was widowed at 28 - she had 5 children from 6 years old (me) to 3 months she was also just pregnant with the 6th. Our chidhood was consumed with grief. She never got over the loss. She brought us up all alone. She then got into an abusive marriage which she had only just got out of when she died. Sometimes you wish the shit was shared around a bit more evenly....but I try to keep saying the we were blessed to have had this wonderful mother...I think that I am terrified of grief due to my childhood experience -- GH book taught me it this time it doesnt have to be the same

mulranno i am sorry for your loss. My mum died 4 years ago and i have found that for me time is not a great healer. i thought about buying GH's book, do you think it would be relevant to me even though my mum died sometime ago?
thanks

yes I do. GH wrote this 4 years after her daughter Caron died. there is a lot of debate about expectations around "moving on" "getting over it"....you dont...you learn to live with it, around it.

I think it looks as though it could be a good read for all of us who are travelling along this road, I have read an extract where she talks about coping with the first Christmas after losing her daughter, an issue I think a lot of us are struggling with at the moment.
I can also recommend "No Flowers..Just Lots of Joy" by Fiona Castle (Roy Castle from Recordbreakers widow) which talks about how she coped with her grief after his death.

Should say that the Fiona Castle book is very much from a Christian perspective and may not suit everyone