This is a message for Moomin, really. I'm having trouble finding someone to talk to about a bizarre thing that is happening to me (well, I think it's bizarre anyway). My dad died when I was 4. I spoke to my mum on Christmas day and at the end of the call, she casually mentioned that my dad had been on TV in October on a program about Melson Mandela (he was involved in anti-apardheid demos), and the camera had settled on his face for quite a long time during footage of a march, in close-up. Given her quite a shock. She's in the process of getting a tape of it from ITV.
My issues are three-fold. I feel very strange about seeing him when we eventually get the tape, as it will be like seeing a ghost.
My mum never talks about him unless I bring the subject up and even then, she only answers direct questions, so you have to know the right questions to ask. (But you'd have to know what you were talking about then, in which case, why would you be asking, ARGHHH!) So I only have a child's memory of him, which includes smell, what foods he liked and what it felt like to ride on his shoulders. I don't know anything about the man, not even what his views were (aside from politics) what sort of music he liked, what they argued about, etc....
I'm not getting anywhere when I try to talk to friends. I think your dad being on TV when he's been dead for over 30 years is a big thing. They just seem to say, 'oh.' I understand that it can be hard to know what to say to bereaved people, it's just that the fact that nobody cares is very hard to take. I think that's the worst part about bereavement - nobody cares, everyone who knew them has gone. You are only allowed to talk about it for so long and NO LONGER.
Sorry, longer than I intended. I just wondered whether any of this resonates, or am I just barking?