Can you help me? I've got in a right state over what to write on the card with funeral flowers...

[Weegle]

My beloved grandmother, who I was extremely close to died last Wednesday. I'm deeply upset and can't believe she's gone. I don't want to say goodbye, I don't want to go to the funeral but obviously I will. And now my dad has been asking me to make sure I've ordered the flowers by tomorrow lunchtime and I just can't because I don't know what to tell them to write on the card - nothing seems good enough, or too personal, and I don't really know what you "should" put - is it addressed as if I'm talking to her? My grandmother meant so much to me - she was always there through a mostly crappy childhood and I wouldn't have turned out vaguely ok if it wasn't for her - obviously I can't write that given my parents will read it! God this hurts so much, please help me come up with something to write.

it sounds awful that your dad is pressuring you

could you plant something in your garden as a memorial to her and tell your dad that is what you wanted to do

So sorry for your loss xxx

so sorry for your loss, weegle

you could say something like

dear grandma,

thank you so much for being the light in the dark times, and the strength for me when i struggled, your love and care got me through so much, and you have made me who i am today, your loving care knew no bounds, and i will always hold a part of you in my heart.

?

I would say if you find it hard right now, spend some time writing your own personal thoughts on a card, then put it in a sealed envelop and when you are able to, place that with the flowers. Ask for the flowers to just varry your name.

You do not have to write anything.

I wrote a letter to my mum and had it placed in her coffin. It was not for others to read.

I wish you strength for the next few days and next few months.

How about, To my darling grandmother, thank you for always being there for me. I will miss you so much.

"You meant so much to me"?

It says what you mean without going into details.

or do you address it in the 3rd person?

like

grandma/name

was the light in my life etc etc

My deepest sympathy, she sounds like a wonderful lady.

You could write what you wrote in your op. That you loved her and will miss her desperately. That you feel blessed to have known her.

She knew that though, I am sure. The writing in the card is just words. She knew what was in your heart.

I think you just write from your heart tbh.

How about 'Dearest granny, you were the sunshine in my life when all around was bleak' or 'Dear Gran, I will always love you and miss you more than words can say.'??

i am so sorry you've lost your gran. It will take ages to get used to it.

why not order the flowers signed just in your name. and IF YOU WANT TO write another card to take when you know what to say. but your gran has died, what on earth do you need to say? she can't read it and i bet she knows how much she means to you. the card thing is for other people and it doesn't matter does it, a blank card with your name on is enough
xx

really sorry to hear of the loss of your grandma...my grampa died on thursday....i can imagine how you are feeling.

how about somthing simple like "no words are enough for such a wonderful grandma..i will never forget your love." or just "i miss you..."

i hope you find the right words. x

yes I think I could do that - just put our names and then write something in a sealed envelope.

I guess I feel weird and on show if I write something from the heart - she knew how I felt about her. I'm the youngest of the grandchildren and everyone knows that I was closest (we lived nearby for years when everyone else was further afield, I looked after her and her sister before it got too hard and she moved up to live with my parents). Her sister died just 7 weeks ago, she was like a second grandmother, the whole family is in turmoil and I can't just sum it up in a few words.

mellyonion sorry about your grampa too

compo I don't think my dad means to pressurise me - as far as he's aware I'm "ok" - for his sake (his mum) I haven't been a blubbing wreck to him like I have been the rest of the time. Her ashes are going to be scattered not far from where I live, even though the cremation is 100 miles away as she used to live near here.

am so sorry for you loss, I lost my beloved gran in 2000 and I still miss her. we planted a tree and all we put on the plaque was 'you live on in the hearts of those you loved, gone but never forgotten'

we placed a rose for each of the grandchildren on her coffin at her funeral and we did the same in the summer when I lost my mum - was a nice gesture and very personal if that would help?

All i can say is your gran knew you had a lot of love and respect for each other.Perhaps you could put i always loved you and i know you loved me 2.We shared such happy times 2 gether.I will treasure the memories we had.You will always be in my heart.

I am so sorry-I lost my mum this year and she was my best friend-I had to do the flowers and speech as I was an only child. I had no idea what to say, and it was also mothers day so everything seemed like it had come straight out of a WHSmiths card. Eventually I simply put night night, see you soon, as that is what we always said on the phone. Simple things are sometimes much more evocative for those concerned that heartfelt sentiments.

sorry didnt mean text talk meant loved me too.Happy times together.good luck.hopefully you will hold it together.If you dont then cry it wouldnt be a surprise as you were close to your grandmother.Its better to to cry then keep it all inside for other people in case you upset them.god bless

Incase it is any help on my Grandmother's flowers I wrote...

"Thank you for being you."

Then when my daughter was born two years later I gave her my Grandmother's name as her middle name because it just felt right!

Sorry for everyones losses...

You taught me so many things that I would have to do
But you never taught me how to cope with losing you

(what i wrote on my dads card)

Well I got to sleep last night but only slept an hour and have been up since

I have decided to write "Beloved Granny - thank you" I think that says it all. What do you think?

Goodness knows how I'm supposed to get through today with a toddler - I have to go shopping to buy something to wear for the funeral and got a hydro-therapy appointment - I never knew something could hurt so much. I feel terrible going on with those of you who have lost spouses or parents - the word "grandmother" doesn't sum up who she was to me, she was closer to me than my mother! At what point do you actually stop crying?

Sorry for your loss Weegle, that sounds perfect. If you want to say more later you could take a card to her grave or ask for one to be put with her in her coffin, sometimes you don't want to say everything in such a public way. She knows how much you loved her and what is in your heart. Take care, wishing you strength for the funeral, be prepared that looking for an outfit might be difficult, when I have had to do that for my grandmother and DH it seemed wrong to be even thinking about clothes, but you want to do them credit and looking your best is part of that. Could a friend look after your LO for a few hours and give you a break?

That sounds perfect. Somtimes you just don't need words.

it takes time. every day that passes it improves - you never get over it just used to it
love xx

Thank you everyone. I am feeling less tearful and more mellow today. Only cried once so far on the way home from pre-school when DS said "we need to go and say goodbye to Great Granny because the angels are going to look after her now"... so that set me off. Then he started asking about where her dog was... trust DS to worry about that!