i can't believe it is 4 months today since DH died

[onlyjoking9329]

i feel like i want to mark today somehow.
in some ways it seems far longer than four months.
this week i have felt very calm and much less tearful, not sure if that means things are now somehow "better" or if this is a good phase? i will make the most of it just in case.

"i have lost quite a bit of weight" at fourmonths and three days the reverse is true (too much comfort food), I'm there with you on the forms, not sure that a date stamp would work as too many of the forms have those OCR boxes that would probably be just the wrong size.

Three steps forwards and two back is still forwards.

the thing is it has steves date of death on the death certificate so why they have to ask me to write it on many forms i do not know, i am trying not to take it personally but it is hard and it hurts.

Sorry your day was spoilt by the dreaded paperwork OJ, it is so depressing and frustrating. I am currently doing battle over some domain names DH registered, I have been put through to all sorts of call centres had e-mails addressed to DH and requests for his signature. I need to keep one because it is our e-mail address, but they can't seem to understand this .On the eating side is it possible for you to eat with the children for most meals to make it more social. Like DadinsteadofMum I am succumbing to comfort eating and have the opposite problem. I couldn't eat properly for weeks at first though so I do understand the problem. Take care xx

its horrid having to phone up and be put throu to several people and you have to explain everything all over again, i hope you get it sorted out.
the kids have there dinner at school so they just have a snack at tea time i often have a snack then but not a meal, i struggle with sitting at the dining table, i am not finding it helpful that elliot always comments there are only 4 of us at the table but there are supposed to be five.
mind you every cloud has a silver lining and all that, i brought an egg poacher the other day, it does four eggs this was of course noted and commented on by elliot.

sending you some hugs, i think having

followed your story as mostly a lurker you

have done amazingly well with nursing steve

looking after the kids and all the dreadful

things you had/have to deal with from the in-

laws. i don't know quite how you have

managed to do it all, but you have, i admire

you very much.

you have spent so long looking after

everyone else that i think now should be a

time to look after yourself.

i hope your friends are looking after you

and i feel sad that you don't have a family

to look after you, i wishe i lived nearer i

would love to meet you and spoil you a bit.

Take care very brave lady.

PS i know what you mean about not wanting to

eat, my mum was the same when my dad died

Is your dining table in the kitchen? Ours is a big 8 seater in the living room, so I have bought a 4 seat one for the kitchen and that is much better for us. It is little things like an empty seat at the table that are the hardest I think.

OJ

[squeeze]

Is your dining table in the kitchen? Ours is a big 8 seater in the living room, so I have bought a 4 seat one for the kitchen and that is much better for us. It is little things like an empty seat at the table that are the hardest I think.

our dining table and chairs were in the conservatory, when steve was coming home from the hospice i had to put the table and chairs in the loft to make way for steves hospital bed and other stuff, the table and chairs are back in the conservatory, i have moved it around a bit, steve spent his last 9 weeks in there and he died in the conservatory that doesn't bother me as such in fact i spend a lot of time in there and find it comforting, it is getting cold in there now so i am having the floor ripped up and under floor heating and new floor, that is being done whilst we are in menorca along with a new boiler
elliot has put a teddy in steves chair at the dining table, i guess i miss having an adult to chat with at meal times.

OJ, you sound remarkable. Take care.

i ain't remarkable really, just ordinary but sometimes have to deal with the extrordinary.
Dadinsteadofmum maybe a date stamp would work if we could stamp it on the foreheads of officials that annoy us
good to see you posting i did try to contact you Via MN cat system but you are set to be non contactable. if you would like to get in touch give us a shout.

What makes us remarkable is often the circumstances we find ourselves in and how we deal with them, so love, take a compliment. From what I've read you've done well.

ok i will take it as a compliment, can you tell i am not good with compliments

you will have to accept the compliment OJ 10,0000 mumsnetters can't be wrong can they.

Love your photos on the profile, OJ.
I have a 14 year old Bethan too.

XXX

Thanks, i need to put some new photos on, i will make sure when we come back from our holidays to put some on

oj, i hope that today has been a little

brighter for you, i know you will find some

sunshine where ever you can and that is one

of the things i admire about you, you don't

wallow and winge you may scream and shout a

bit but then you dust yourself down and

get on with it.

take care.

i can do W&W for a while but then once i have had a rant i am ok, you know how it all builds up then explodes, i have no one to fall out with i have to be grumpy with myself now when i get PMT. mumsnet is my sounding board as it is always there.
i am in the process of having 2 ensuite done for the kids and i am struggling to decide what to have cos we would have decided between us.
the kids came home with there sample of school photos and i so wanted to be able to show steve and to chose between us which ones to have.

thionking of you, oj. It must get worse, in a way, when time passes and everyone expects you to talk about it less and less and I'd've thought sometimes you want to still talk about the person who is gone a lot.

well i can understand it from their point of veiw, there lives have not changed and for lots of people the funeral meant closure, it is a huge adjustment to make we were together 24/7 for the last 8 years and together 17 years in total it is gonna take time, but we will do the best we can in a situation none of us wanted to be in, i promised steve that i would do the best i could for the kids and for him, he didn't want to leave us he had no choice but i think he gained comfort from knowing that we would carry on.

Message withdrawn

one form would be very useful wouldn't it, thing is when i send a death certificate anywhere it clearly says where and when he died so why they still have to ask i do not know.