OJ - you won't really know me or remember me - probably about 6 months ago we both got very cross on a thread where someone seemed to suggest that a person could "fight" their cancer - like somehow if you died you hadn't fought enough - anyway, I only mention it so you don't think I've popped up out of nowhere on such a personal thread.
It's hardly comparable to losing your husband, especially with a young family, but I lost my dad to cancer in February and it I can only say it is the small stuff that inevitably gets you because the intimacy of your relationship is in the detail. For me, going into my emails at work to do some tidying up and finding special ones I'd saved from dad when he was travelling. Overtaking a cyclist and giving them a wide berth (dad was a very enthusiastic cyclist), finding a box of oxo cubes bought from the corner shop with a corner shop price ticket on, because he started to want to drink stuff like bovril when his taste buds went strange - we don't use it. Coming across his handwritten address in my address book - going to call my mum and the digital address book coming up with mum and dad. All of these things reduced me to a crumpled wreck.
I think you had to find your own way with clearing away stuff, but don't feel it's disloyal. Steve would have wanted you to do whatever you needed to do to move forward and stay strong. If that means getting rid of the stuff that is tripping you up every day then you should do it. My mum thought she'd do it immediately, then couldn't do it at all. Finally, she just got scared she'd never do it and we all went over and had a blitz.
It's six months on now. For the first time since his death, we were at mums house and we had a happy day, a genuinely great family day that didn't include dad. My sister and her babe, my two LO's etc. When the babes woke up from their naps, we ended up in the room dad had spent most of his last weeks in, and they all started bouncing around on the bed, and the babies were giggling and the toddlers were laughing hysterically and in that moment, I saw my dad, and how happy he would have been to see this breakthrough, and that the room was happy again.
This is a way off for you I know, but I tell the story in the hope that you will get strength from it, and know that in your future there will come a day like this, when it feels like you are on the way to mending as a family. Love and luck to you.