Still crying after all these years

[bosch]

My mum died 21 years ago, very suddenly, when I was (an immature) 20 year old.

I didn't cope terribly well at the time, but time helps blah blah.

I have generally always been quick to tears if I think about her though. And particularly so in church, to the extent that I really had to stop going.

Well, I started going to church just over a year ago, and have been really enjoying it. About two months ago, I started to get a bit teary but nothing that I couldn't cope with. Last Sunday however, some of the hymns really pushed me over the egde. I blubbed like a big baby.

I'm just idly wondering if there's a book I could read or maybe some form of counselling that could help me?

Anyone?

hi bosch, its natural to cry, no matter how many years since you lost someone. And she was your lovely mum!

I'm not sure about the books or counselling, but am sure someone will be along to advise soon x

letting it out and crying is the counselling i would say. its not wrong. go with it and see it as therapeutic. dont stop going to church and welcome the tears when you think of your mum. it will get easier if you just let it out.

I had counselling last year over the death of my mum 8 years earlier. it helped immensely. Had about 6 hours wrth.

Thanks for replies.

Hmm, its crying in public that I have a problem with...and explaining to people why I'm crying...

Slouchy - how did you go about finding a counsellor?

Yellow pages and then googled people for recommendations. She was great, 1st session was free to feel each other out a bit.

I still cry about my Dad 26 years later, particularly now I have DC he'll never know. My eyes are pricking now just thinking about it.

There is a website for the British Association of Counsellors. You can put in your postcode and it will bring you up a list of all the counsellors in your area.

Also, there's a description of all the different types of counselling available.

Finding a counsellor

Hi bosch

I know that feeling well. At Christmas I cheerfully went to midnight mass - and cried the whole way through. Also the church I go to at home (300 miles away from where my parents live) have suddenly started playing one of the hymns from my father's funeral (my mum chose the hymn and I'd never heard it before then). Its horrible, isn't it?

Sorry I'm not an awful lot of help, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone..

Thanks again (booge - now my eyes are pricking too)

It is good to know that I'm not alone.

Will try the recommendations vis finding a counsellor though, thanks

I'm so sorry for your loss, it's hard to live with the death of a parent. I found counselling really helpful when my Dad died while I was pregnant last year. Like Slouchy, I only had a few sessions (baby came early surprise surprise!) but it made a big difference. I can now talk about it without crying and although I still have a lot of sadness, it's not overwhelming.

It was free through a local charity but Cruise are a national organisation who referred me to them and are worth contacting to see what's offered in your local area.

www.cruse.org

big hug.