got to go help MIL start clearing grandmas house in a little while and my heart is racing about it......really strange feeling....

[Psychomum5]

not sure what I want from this thread really, maybe just to see how others cope with that side of death I guess. I feels so practical and final I guess......the last time we were there grandma was busstling about feeding the great grandchildren.....

oooh....sorry. feel quivery and sick

its not easy at all but it needs to be done and atleast your grandma has people she loved to do it.we found out all sorts of things no one knew about my mil when clearing out her house-it felt like introding at the same time.
not easy thing to do.

I think that is what I feel strange about. It feels as tho we are going to be delving into her personality in a way that feels 'wrong'. I feel honoured that MIL asked me, and SIL is coming too (we are all to chose keepsakes for the grandchildren and ourselves), but it still feels odd.

DH is feeling strange too, and he is not coming. he would not enter grandma's house however for over a year after his grandad died, so maybe his feelings are rubbing off on me??.

i think its nice that your going,whether it fels like it or not.when sorting out practical things after my mil death ,i had a few moments where i thought about all the people that dont have family or anyone to do those things for them.did she leave instructions for what goes where etc?i think for me,carrying out my mil wishes(she had put in her will quite a detailed list of what went where-to family,friends,charitys etc)made me feel i was doing one last thing for her.
im so sorry

ive just remembered.i sat with my dh and 3 of his brothers and sister all working out who would get a adress book from mil handbag,none of us wanted to as seemed wrong!but when she was alive she would have said,'can you grab that out of my bag' and anyone of us would no problem!

thankyou.

luckily she did leave a list of who should have what amongst her friends and the special items of jewellery etc, so that side is sorted.....it is more that the house now needs to go up for sale and therefore it needs to be started with the proper clearing....ornaments etc, furniture, and her clothes. oh, and the family pics etc too I guess.

strength love and lots of hugs from me and j xxxxxx

how did it go Psychomum5?how are you feeling?

Psycho here's a tip. You will be shakey as you know BUT if you are unsure about stuff don't be tempted to chuck it. If you don't have time or the emotional strength to go through eg papers, photos etc, put them in a bag and store them until you do.

I say this because we were in a state when we did this. My mum's brother and his wife had arrived there earlier than us and had cleared out some drawers. It wasn't until later we realised there would have been really precious, irreplacable letters, photos and other general bits and pieces there.

Major regrets.

Oh sorry it was today wasn't it? I hope it went OK.

ooh...just seen the extra replies...sorry.

went ok-ish. was odd, was comforting, was nice, was sad.

I have some crystal trinket pots for the girls

and some pics

and other bits

adn we cried

and we were comforted at how neat she was.

am going back next week.....big stuff being sorted next week.

but thankyou all