Lost a very close friend and I am struggling.

[Wrendale]

My lovely friend died in the hospice a few days ago. She was such a big part of my life. She was a few years older than me, never married - we were really different . She was a funny old thing …but she was my funny old thing. I would see her most days after I finished work - for the last 20 years - we have gone out for coffee and cake every week. We just sat and put the world to rights. Last month she was diagnosed with cancer - and it all escalated very quickly. Nothing could be done - she accepted it and said she’d had a good life, treasured our friendship and was ready to go……I am struggling so much tonight - I thought she would always be there. I went to our tearoom earlier and just burst into tears.

I'm very sorry to hear that.

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. She sounds like a wonderful person, how lucky to have had a friend for decades who you could so regularly share a lovely time and meaningful chats with. Though of course such a gorgeous friendship means such a deep grief at this time. I wish I could say something more useful but I’m so sorry again for your loss xx

So sorry for your loss. I expect you are still in shock. It does get easier but you will always miss her. Sending a virtual hug 🫂

Sending you a hand squeeze and a hug. It all sounds like it's all been very sudden and you're still in early grief and shock. That's perfectly understandable and very normal. x

When you are a little further down the road, it can be helpful if you can come to see it as a life completed, rather than a life cut short. It sounds like your friend had a calm acceptance of what was to be, and will leave you with many shared, good memories. Don't be afraid to smile and chuckle at them in the future.

That's a huge loss and a big shock. I'm so sorry about your friend

Do you have people in RL you can talk to as well as on here?

I’m so sorry op. She sounds very special. Does the hospice offer any support for the bereaved? Ours does.
Be very kind to yourself, and lean on people around you. 🌺🌺🌺

Grief is homeless love. It does get better. Sory for your loss.

I am so sorry, love. 💐

I'm so sorry - she sounds like a fabulous friend x

Last month! That’s awful. What a loss for you. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say.

I'm so very sorry. It sounds like a very special friendship for both of you.

So very sorry. I lost a very good friend a couple of years ago and it really does knock your world.
It takes time but eventually you get to a place of acceptance and can treasure your special memories.
It has made me appreciate life too and just do things now instead of waiting x

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and that it happened so fast.
It is extraordinarily hard.
Sadly my sister and I between us have lost five friends to cancer over the past 4.5 years. Loss takes time to accept and grief comes in waves.
It is wonderful that you had such a friendship, many people never experience such a close friend.

So sorry for your loss.
My friend died 10 years ago, she was the best too. Take good care x

How awful. Such a huge loss and too sudden for you to even try to get your head around it.
OP we choose our friends in life and they can mean so much more to us than family.. who are who they are just through circumstances.
The loss of a close friend is really hard and really unsettling ( I know through experience).
Time will change it, but it will take time. I’m so sorry

Honestly I could have written the same thing last year.

I too lost a very very close friend. She was also older than me but we were very close and loved one another's company. We too would see each other several times a week, and one of those meet up's was for cake and capuccino's at our lovely local coffee shop.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer and I was there, every step of her journey, listening, visiting her, holding her hand and offering love and support.

She passed away last November and for a very long time there was this big hole in my life. I missed our chats, I missed walking the dogs, I missed our weekly coffee and cake and just talking nonsense with her. She was one of the only people I have ever met who I felt I could be my complete and authentic self with.

So I totally understand the way you are feeling right now. The thought of going back to 'our coffee shop' filled me with dread. Going there without her felt all kinds of wrong. But I did force myself to. I could almost hear her saying to me 'don't be silly, get in there and have coffee!'

She loved her life and I know she didn't want to die. She would say to me about how precious life is and how she wanted more time and she was one of the driving forces behind my recent house move to live by the sea.

The pain of losing her has changed to a dull ache now but I still miss her all the time. But I try and live my life to the full now and appreciate the things that she no longer can.

She told me one of her life's little pleasures was having the first sips of a nice cold prosecco and I have a glass, every Friday evening, and enjoy it because she can't. If that makes sense.

Please try and be grateful for having such a wonderful friend in your life. I am so grateful for mine. She holds a special place in my life and I will never forget her for as long as I live.

You may not be able to, but in time you will.

I am deeply sorry for your loss. xx

Aw I am sorry op, she sounds wonderful. Take your time to grieve.

I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a friend is so so hard and I still miss my friend who died a few years ago.

I love your description of your friend, especially how you say she accepted her fate and said she'd had a good life. That is actually a really lovely and brave and "successful" way to go. She sounds great.