How can I help DS1

[Kimi]

DS1 is 12, very high IQ, SN has tourettes and is in the AS mix.

We lost my FIL 7 years ago, DS was 5.
He was grandads favorite and they were mates, FIL had a stroke, lasted 8 days then passed away, DS1 saw him at the hospital (he wanted to and we thought it would help him accept that grandad was poorly) I had a long talk with him and explained that sometimes when someone is very poorly they can't get better and an angel will take them to jesus.
DS1 was heart broken when FIL passed but he seemed to move on as children do, there have been tears on special days but that is the norm, How ever DS1 now has to write his auto biography for English homework, and last night wrote about his Grandad... he was inconsolable (sp) he cryed for an hour, cryed himself to sleep and was still tearfull this morning, I really don't know how to help, (no grave to visit), DH1 (seperated) is not real good at dealing with this sort of thing, when his dad died he cryed then folded his feeling up and packed them away in a little box as he does with every emotion, but he has said he will talk with DS1 tonight.

Is it usual for a child to wait 7 years to let out the pain of losing someone? Is it a symptom of something else? I don't know what to do to help my son.

I lost my husband when my son was five (my ds found him) he still talks about it now, may i suggest you contact Winstons Wish, they support children who have been through a bereavment. They do really amazing work,,,
www.winstonswish.org.uk/

Thank you Lottie, I will have a look,

So sorry for your loss, thank you for taking time to answer x

Forgot to say my ds has special needs to, adhd, dyspraxia and is profoundly deaf........

hope your DS is coping now, it is so hard yo ee your child hurting

to see

Kimi I lost my grandfather when I was 10, and it hit me hard when I was about 28. I had missed him a lot in the intervening years, but not really come to terms with it. It wasn't indicative of anything else in my life at the time - but it took me that long to really think about it (his death was traumatic which is possibly the reason for the long intervening period). For me it was very healthy to actually grieve - and I hope it is for your son too. The plus side is that it was for your son an important loving relationship which will stay with him for a long time. Not sure if this helps, but I treasure memories of my grandfather while still missing him - I am now 44!!!