Should I send a card 1 year on?

[EthanolHawke]

A family cousin died almost a year ago. Would it be appropriate or not to send a card to his widow to let her know I’m thinking of her and her children?

I’m second guessing myself and wondering if it would be a kindness or unwelcome. I feel as if I don’t acknowledge it would be like I’d forgotten.

I don't think it's ever wrong to express sympathy for someone's loss.

I would say do it. It’s very comforting to know you and the deceased person are being held in mind

I think that's a lovely idea. Certainly putting something in writing, not nec a sympathy card tho.

I guess this will be a very personal thing, but I think it’s a kind idea. My mum died when I was a young teen, and after the first year or so it was tumbleweed… it felt like our lives had just stopped, and everyone else had moved on without us. Someone checking in, showing care would have meant a lot.

Do send it. I'm a widow and really struggled with the way everyone just glossed over his death after the first couple of months and expected me to be back to normal.

This, send the card.

From my purely personal perspective, platitudes after a year, I'd think twice tbh

Would also depend why you didn't offer your condolences at the time @EthanolHawke

Genuinely curious to know why? Especially as there were children involved. Even if the widow has "moved on", or has a new partner, the children won't ever have their Dad back.
Apologies if this seems harsh or disingenuous

What a lovely and kind person you are. Do it, they will be so touched.

I’m pleased you think it’s a nice thing to do.

And yes I sent a sympathy card at the time and attended the funeral.

Not harsh nor disingenuous at all @Anotherdayanotherdollar

Why would they do it though?

After a whole year, what exactly has motivated @EthanolHawke, to offer their sympathies now?

It's the time lapse that's bizarre to me.

When you're recently bereaved the genuine outpouring of support is so comforting, especially with young children also involved.

For someone, who knew about the loss but chose not to commiserate, however @EthanolHawke justifies it, just seems meaningless, to me

It doesn’t say anywhere in my opening post, that this is the first contact I’ve had with the widow .

I attended the funeral and sent a sympathy card at the time. This is an additional card to say that we are still remembering one year on.

Ah! I see your update @EthanolHawke

Completely disregard my posts, which are irrelevant now that you've expanded on your OP.

eta; I did not read it as the one year anniversary, so yes a card would be entirely appropriate.

Apologies.

Please do. The first year anniversary is torturous.

I took it to mean (as OP has since confirmed) that it was just a check in having already sent condolences. Does this change things?

Condolences on your loss

There are anniversary cards available. Might make it easier for you and I certainly appreciated receiving one.

I would have hated it (I hated getting sympathy cards first time round, so shoved them wherever I opened them, with the result that I kept finding them around the house for the next couple of years).

However, I would have really appreciated the thought behind it. I think it’s a very kind thing to do.

Yes I do understand this sentiment which is why I was hesitating. But it’s not as if they wouldn’t be aware of it. I just don’t want her to think she’s been forgotten.

Yes, it’s very clear you are being thoughtful. And even if they’re like me and would shudder at the card, I am sure they will appreciate the thought.