Did grief make you more sensitive especially to any kind of rejection?

[grievingshroud]

Following a series of complex bereavements, I'm alone in life. My coping has been to withdraw and hide away. Recently I've taken a few tentative steps towards re-engaging which I have found difficult and had to push myself. I invited someone who is associated with the past and happier times and knew the deceased to come with me to a sold out event with a soloist they love who is highly rated. They replied to me saying they would have loved to come but have already been.

This has made me feel really tearful and very upset. It's sort of 'set me back' in recovery as it were. Some of it is just a feeling of rejectioneh but has hit hard like a blow to the head. Some of it is that this whole invitation was a nostalgic hankering for the past for me. It was a nice reply and was very much 'I'd love to see you. how about dinner'. but I've found that now having been rejected I just don't want to see them at all. A similar thing has happened before when I asked someone to come to something.

I wondered if anyone else can identify with any of this or has any advice? I've thought about it and think that my stress coping is very low because of the grief and in normal times, I'd have brushed it off. It feels like it's a magnified rejection. It makes me not want to try again and hide away even more.

I think grief can leave one very thin skinned.
Try and talk yourself out of the mindset of rejection, the person you asked sounds nice and wants to see you for dinner, focus on the positive thing and not the no to the concert. Rejections can feel like a loss, and that is why they can feel far more painful than they warrant. In this instance it isn’t a rejection just a different arrangement.
I am sorry for you loss. Have you considered bereavement counselling ? Some people find it helpful.

I can definitely identify with what you went through @grievingshroud as my DH1's death knocked the stuffing out of me and I found myself feeling that some people were really harsh and unkind to me even though they knew I was grieving. What I now know with the benefit of hindsight is that I should never have exposed myself to any form of perceived rejection because my defences and resilience was rock bottom.

i also found that people behaved weirdly around me, they deliberately gave me a wide berth and almost wanted to avoid social contact with me. Why, I do not know, but possibly they thought I might have latched onto them as a way of getting over my grief. I relive it from time to time and feel proud of myself for how far I have come since those dark, dark times and that I have learnt a lot about myself and my response to grief.

Be kind to yourself and don't attribute any perceived rejection as being something that's your fault or something you've done wrong, it really isn't.

I certainly found my reactions to lots of things were abnormal for a long, long time.

I did find therapy really helpful and if you can possibly find some money for it I’d really recommend it.

In the meantime - grit your teeth and respond with the shortest positive response that leaves the ball in their court you can manage - ‘I’d love dinner, let me know when we can go’, and find something, anything that makes you feel good. One of the few positives of that time was how much I loved music then, maybe listen to an album you love and feel some positive emotions 💐