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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

To feel miserable because of my life.

4 replies

Ship91 · 29/05/2026 19:50

I just can’t help but shake off the constant feeling of sadness. It started ever since my brother passed away around 2 months ago. We weren’t very close but would still visit each other every so often as we just had each other. Our parents have passed away and no other siblings.

My brother was only 50 yrs old when he passed. He was in hospital for nearly 7 weeks and was so ill. A week before he passed away his brain function declined. He had severe delirium and stopped talking. It was so distressing for us to see him like that. I am trying to be there for my sister-in-law and neices. But it’s still difficult to comprehend everything.

I didn’t just lose a brother I lost the family I was born into. I feel like nothing matters anymore. I’m not scared of death. I feel like not many people have treated me like I’m a person with feelings. I’m expected to switch to happy mood around my husband’s family. I feel exhausted mentally.

I have a good husband and 2 young kids. I should feel grateful for but I feel they will get on with life just fine without me. My husband is occupied with his businesses and his own plans.
I just feel miserable. I get on with life I don’t have a say and feel life is all about pleasing others. I feel like I’m just living but I’m not happy from inside. I keep thinking how I didn’t understand the day to day burden of my brother’s health conditions.

How do I come out of this? I’ve been reflecting about how life is unfair and how I don’t have many people who genuinely care about me. How l wish my brother lived longer for my sisinlaw and his kids and how it’s unfair for them.

OP posts:
Noshadowsinthedarkness · 29/05/2026 19:54

What an awful lot to go through OP. I am so sorry for the loss of your parents and your brother, it sounds like it was really traumatic.

It’s so recent too, I think it’s totally normal to still be grieving and often feeling depression can be part of grief.

Do you think you could contact your GP or a bereavement charity for some support?

I know the family you came into has gone but you’ve created a wonderful family of your own. Could you maybe try and speak to your husband about how you’re feeling?

Noshadowsinthedarkness · 29/05/2026 19:55

Sending strength and love too. 💐

FigurativelyDying · 29/05/2026 20:26

I’m so sorry for your loss. Take good care of yourself. I think your feelings are entirely normal, but you might benefit from bereavement counselling.

KylieKangaroo · 30/05/2026 22:28

I'm so sorry about your loss OP, I read something about siblings being the forgotten grievers and I think there is a lot of truth in that. I hope in time you can begin to remember your brother fondly but it's such early days and 50 is just so young 😔 take care of yourself 💚

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