Miscarriage condolence gift

[Lablady26]

A member of my team has sadly had a miscarriage. It was very need to know. I remember similar losses and hated flowers. I want to show I care and am thinking of her, but equally don’t want to send a triggering gift. It is a warm and close professional relationship vs a friendship that extends beyond work. I had thought of sending the aromatherapy associates self care super heroes gift set as a collective gift from those that know (line managers) or bath oils but I’m not sure if this seems cold and impersonal. Should I just send a card or is there anything that would bring her comfort? I’m going in circles, I was at my lowest after my losses and know how hard this must be for her. The rest of the line managers are men and have just said whatever I think best. Hot baths and showers were one of the few things that helped me, but everyone is so different.

I think a card is appropriate. Don't send gifts for a loss unless they're sympathy flowers.

You know your relationship with her best but normally a card is more than enough

I agree, a card is the best option. You are kind to care, I manage a team also & would feel similarly.

Like you, I had m/c & really nothing helped. People caring, being available to chat & (from a work perspective) showing practical, meaningful care around returning to work & availability to work, did help.

I gave a colleague a lovely scented candle, with a message that when she lit it, it could be a way to remember her loss. But I knew she would appreciate the thought behind it.

Thank you all, we went for a card.
We have made sure time off is properly protected, and have put in place additional counselling should she want it. There are 4 sessions available free through work, but managers can adjust this at their discretion. We have preemptively done this so she does not need to ask, just “there are x available, feel free to use them or not, as you find helpful”.

As others have said, no gift really helps (although we are all different), but practical, meaningful care, from the perspective of the workplace, does. We are going to refresh our tea selections with some nice Teapigs herbal ones too, and do some little things like getting more fruit platters ordered in etc. These are all things we do normally (for the whole office), but it was perhaps a reminder that we all need little mini moments of self care in our day, and we are a bit overdue on organising them, as it can fall down the list.

Thank you all. It brought back a lot of very sad memories and I remember how hard it was smiling through a day at work. I realise the tea thing sounds cliche but sometimes holding something hot really helped give me that moment to gather myself. It’s also something I think everyone will enjoy and won’t single anyone out.

A card and something practical/gentle is probably enough tbh. Grief gifts get weird fast when people overthink them. Honestly the fact you care this much already says more than whatever item you buy ❤️

I’d skip products and send a simple card plus something practical if anything, food delivery, coffee voucher, covering lunch, whatever removes one tiny task from her day. Scented stuff can be weird after loss because people react so differently.