How can I explain a grandparent’s death to my three-year-old?

[Marvelfan300]

I lost my father two weeks ago today, I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas on how to tell my three year old where he’s gone?
currently he thinks grandad is still in hospital (he asks for him everyday, multiple times a day.) him and my father were little best mates and I don’t want to shatter his little heart currently, every ambulance/air ambulance he sees he says ‘my grandads in one of those, he’s going to get better.’ And it’s slowly eating me inside, breaks my heart for him😭💕 any advice I’d be so so so grateful.

So sorry for your loss.

We were recommended a book, to help try to explain things- Badger's Parting Gifts. There are other books that could be helpful, but this one was a nice, gently told story. Read it to yourself first though, as it made me howl.

I’m sorry for your loss.

I told our youngest that (in our case) Grandma’s body was too old and poorly to hold her any more, so she’d moved on to what comes next and left it behind. That she wasn’t ouchy and sad any more, so we should be grateful for that although we’d miss her.

Honestly, I got the idea from Watership Down. The bit at the end where Hazel leaves his body behind because he won’t be needing it any more. When DS asked more questions I described it as like her taking off her uncomfortable clothes, but it was her whole body instead.

When he eventually asked what the “next” was, I said nobody knows for sure asd isn’t that exciting for her? That she believed it would be heaven, other people believe in having another go around as a person in a fresh body, or an animal, etc etc.

My kids chose to believe she’d probably try living as an ant this time.

What a lovely explanation .

I am so sorry for the loss of your father.

I had the task of telling my just over 2 and not quite 4 year old daughters that their mother was dead so I understand how very difficult this is for you.

Unfortunately you are going to have to be brutally honest, use the word died and not any synonyms, they will just confuse your little boy.

It is very likely that you will need to repeatedly tell him as young children do not readily understand the permanence of death.

I won't even try to sugar coat this, it is going to be heart rending and upsetting.

There is every chance that your son will in someway blame himself, wonder if it was something bad he did that caused his grandfather to die.

All you, and other family members, can do is be there for your son, to listen and talk and surround him with the love you clearly have for him.

sorry op
lots of story books on Amazon for his age
seach ‘my grandad died books’
tell him he was very old and very sick and his body doesn’t work any more and we won’t see him any more (insert spiritual belief if you have one here too) xx

Thank you all for your recommendations I’ve just had a look at book trust and I’ve just found a little book called Grandads island and it’s all about how grandad and his grandson go into the attic and find a new island a jungle world and as the time is getting closer his grandson knows it’s time to go home but they’re both having so much fun. But grandad he decides to stay, and speaks about how to navigate the (ship.) back to home all by himself.

thank you all for sharing your stories and experiences and I’m so sorry for all of your losses.

my father was still very young, and sadly cancer got the better of the situation very quickly leaving us with no time to have comfort or alone time.

forever grateful thank you x