Colleague's bereavement

[Habesha91]

My colleague lost her mum few days ago and I'm not sure if I should pay her a visit at her home. We are pretty close and chat all the time on the phone etc but never hang out outside work. She tried in the past but I wasn't interested.

She tells me most of her personal issues like family etc and I'm close to her than other colleagues but don't feel confident to go. I was thinking of going with my husband but then again I never met any of her family or never been to her house. And also I don't want to make things awkward by going at the wrong time when they need space especially if I'm going with hubby. Shall I ask her if it's okay with her to pay her a visit or shall I leave it?

We are sending her flowers from the office to show some love. Is that enough?

I think th sentiment is lovely but the last thing I would want would be to entertain guests at this point. Maybe offer via text but see how she responds? Definitely don't just turn up!

No I wouldn’t as you sound like like that would be opening Pandora’s box and where does it end?!! She tried to hang out with you outside work before and tells you all her personal stuff? Nope! Flowers and a card is ok . You’ll be on here in a years time otherwise saying how to I stop my colleague turning up at my house all the time and thinking we’re best friends! She won’t leave me alone!

Definitely don't take the husband. I can't imagine her wanting a stranger there if you do go.

I haven’t been through it but I would absolutely not want someone from work coming to my house. Just text her to show her your support.

I agree with you, just don't want that closeness with someone from work. After it's all work and nothing more. I am also a very private person and don't want most people to get into my life, know my husband etc. thank you x

Absolutely do not go.

You have already said you don't want a relationship outside of work, and have never been to her house, so why go now? It is odd to think that now, when she has lost her Mum, is the right time to suddenly do this. Turning up on her doorstep will make the poor woman think you want to be friends or to be there for her when actually you just want to show you sympathise and are sorry for her loss and nothing more.

Just send her your own card and flowers and leave it at that.

If you are in Ireland yes it would be warmly received- if not send a card