So sad, number and angry .

[Feyra25]

Lost my dad unexpectedly in November 25, my mum.fell to pieces so I took over arranging tiings , sorting everything out. I suppose I didnt grieve at the time because I just went into autopilot. Mum isnt having the best time of it and suffers from.anxiety which she had before dad died. I hate saying and feeling this but I feel.so tired drained with dealing with everything. I feel like I am just putting one foot in front of the other and going through the motions. I have zero interest in things , although I do go out and do stuff I the hope that I may feel that spark for life but nothing. I am also feeling very angry at everything whyndid Dad die, why is my life like tjis why does mum have to go through this. I am an only child so its all on me. I just hate life aat the mo. I feel numb its so hard losing a parent but also seeing my mum devastated and trying to deal with her loss. Its like im grieving both of them. I have my first counselling session next weel but had a shite day at work and havent stopped crying since I got home. Thankfully mum doesnt live with me cos I dont want her seeing me like this.

You're not alone. It's very hard. You're having to postpone your own grieving in order to do everything that needs to be done and to support your mum. Please try to find time and space to grieve. Are you open to counselling? I failed to process my dad's death for years because I was dealing with mum who had dementia. Talking about it with a qualified counsellor was the only way for me to process the grief. You could also have a chat with your GP.

Yes I'm open to counselling I hope it helps. I will phone the doctors on Monday but Im reluctant to have medication. And not sure what else they can do especially if I say I am already having some cou selling.Thank you for your comment I really appreciate it .

You’re carrying the mental load here and need some time to process it. It is still very early days. It must be hard being there for your mum when you are feeling so broken. Ring Samaritans if you want to chat it through as they are very helpful. Take care.