Anniversaries - which are harder?

[Drizzlybear]

Does anyone else find some anniversaries harder to deal with than others? I lost my Mum nearly a year ago and have calmly got through her birthday and Mother’s Day. Christmas was much harder, but the actual anniversary of her death is looming now and I’m dreading it. Can anyone else relate?

I’m sorry for your loss.
i remember the feeling well approaching the 1st anniversary of losing my dad. But once we got to it i realised all the “firsts” were done and i could start to heal a little bit more. We celebrate his birthday with a toast of red wine now which is nice. The anniversary of his passing and the two weeks leading up are still a bit raw (will be 7 years this year) but I’ve learnt to deal with it, book some time off work if I can, focus on something for me etc.
there’s no rule book unfortunately but please know you’re not alone in feeling how you do. Be gentle with yourself and feel all the feels you need to. Time does make it easier but there will always be moments that catch you out.

I personally don't tend to struggle with any anniversaries that much, if I'm honest. I found the first Christmas tricky, but other than that, I don't put emphasis on any other anniversary. It's simply just a date.
Big hugs to you, nonetheless 💐

Birthday, deathday, Mother's Day, and Christmas are all hard, but then again, every day without her is.

Sorry for your loss, OP.

I don’t find any particular day any harder than any other. Sometimes grief hits you for no reason, other times you are fine - an ‘anniversary’ of something doesn’t make a difference. To me at least. There’s no rule book with bereavement, we are all different. I’m sorry for your loss op.

I vowed that I would not mark my dads day of death for two reasons- first it is a friends birthday, and second- I would rather think of him on his birthday rather than the day he died.
The reality is that I do find it trickier than I expected. Which has gotten worse over time.
Strange isn’t it.

It's all hard but for me personally I found the seconds harder than the first. One the firsts, people are there for you but by the second comes along, I think people just think you're over it and dont even give it a thought. I also found the build up to the days worse than the actual day itself.

I found the thought of the first anniversary of my mum's death far worse than the reality. I think I had built it up to be a big thing in my mind, but it was ok in the end.

Think about what, if anything, you want to do to mark the occasion. I decided to write a letter to my mum that day, and I found it a surprisingly cathartic experience.

I lost my mum in 2023 in the aug. We got married in Dec then Christmas, then her birthday is 3 days after Christmas then new year! So I find Dec a bit tricky but also mothers day. My wonderful children want to celebrate me but the one person I want to be celebrated isn't here.
It's tough, I think they all fluctuate and I think the first year up to the date they died is the worst as it's all the firsts.
Sending love