Work + children

[mumma224]

Hi all, my partner passed when our daughter was 3 months old, our first child. Our daughter is now nearly 2, and I need to start looking for work. I didn’t realise how stressful I would find it, my partner earned enough and didn’t want me working after we had our daughter, it was never something I had to give much thought too. I didn’t realise how hard it was getting a job to fit around your children, and working it around a child whilst also having no help or support to fall back onto.
If you’re a single parent, whether that be because of bereavement or not, what do you do for work and how does that fit around your child? Aswell as what do you do during half term times etc. I know people cope with this on a daily basis and it’s pretty normal but I’m coming up blank genuinely as to how people manage their home and work life when it’s only you, it’s proper stressing me out. TIA

Bumping for you, OP.

I got a job as a TA in my children's school. So I can do all school runs and have all the holidays off with them.
I get to see all they're plays and assemblies etc and if they're ill or hurt themselves I'm there

So sorry for your loss OP.

Realistically if you have no family support for childcare then you’ll need a job with hours that fall only within standard business operating hours and weekdays, otherwise you won’t find childcare. Nurseries typically offer 8-6pm M-F, holiday clubs are often 9.30-3.30 but 9-5pm are around, just more expensive and less places.

You will have access to the subsidised/funded hours which will cover some of the childcare costs but may also be eligible for Universal credit, and tax-free childcare account for any unfunded childcare costs, you do need to make sure the provider is an approved childcare provider in order to get these.

Home/work balance, honestly it’s hectic and you need to decide what’s really important to you and find shortcuts. Slow cooker/quick oven only meals, beans on toast/omelette for dinner. Prepping outfits and bags the night before, losing the iron etc. On the plus side the house doesn’t get messy if you’re not in it so while you’re at work it won’t turn into a toy-disaster zone.

I’m sorry for your loss!

I worked full time when my DD was 10 months, she was at a childminder that I could afford and eventually went to a nursery at 2. They were open during half term (apart from Christmas) and I’d use my annual leave when they were closed.
When she was in school, I found a holiday club I could afford for half term and tried to use my annual leave to help bring the costs down.
If I could find someone I trusted to have her even 1 day a year it helped.
I didn’t drive then either so with commuting on the buses, the days were so long but we made it work.
It was so hard!
But it made me confident that I could “do it” if I had to.
Good luck to you and your daughter 💛

If you can, volunteer in a school setting and get some experience, you could then apply for teaching assistant or office staff. You’ll then have the holidays off and this is a massive bonus as your child hits school age / do the prep now. Downside is the pay isn’t great.

I am sorry for your loss. Schools would perhaps be easiest for you while DC is dependent. I work in a university & get the whole Christmas/new yr period off + a couple of extra days at Easter + a decent no. of annual leave days and there's a lot of flexibility eg with work hrs, time for apts, carers leave, hybrid working, etc, so could be worth looking into uni jobs if poss (tho csn be a bit in short supply at mo) . Maybe NHS jobs too would be flexible/parent-friendly, & local council jobs?

I’ve been a single parent for years. I’ve always been a civil servant since having DC and worked flexi time which helps a lot. The civil service offers part time and term time hours too in many departments. I’ve never had to miss a sports day, or assembly. Decent pay and excellent pension.

I am very sorry for your loss.

Where did you work before your daughter was born? Could you approach the same employer to see if they could offer you any family friendly hours? Or would it be possible to do something similar on a self employed basis, so you can have some more flexibility around nursery hours?