Numbness since losing my Dad

[Fairieswearhats]

My Dad died just before Christmas following a near 2 year long fight with cancer. I was incredibly close to my Dad and yet since he's died I just feel so numb, like I have no feelings with regards to him and it's making me feel broken. On the other hand it's allowing me to function as before for the most part, but it just feels so odd that I don't feel anything. Has anyone felt similar? Did it stay that way or did it change at some point? Thank you

I lost my dad just before Christmas too. I dont have any advice about coping, I feel like hes abandoned me and i'm super angry at the moment.i know thats completely irrational.

It's been a while since I lost my DF and I'm hope that someone wiser than me will come on here soon and tell you all about the stages of grief.

My DF had cancer and I knew for the last few months that he wasn't going to make it but, when he died, I still felt that he was in the house even though I knew he had died IYSWIM. Gradually I moved on from that stage and I felt angry that he had left me alone.

Then I remember going through a tearful stage ~ anything at all could trigger a memory and I would get dreadfully upset.

I can't remember how I came out of that stage but I can remember having a conversation with a friend and telling her a funny story about my DF and smiling at the memory. That was the first time I realised things were getting better. It wasn't all straightforward from thereon but I'm in a much better place now.

Grief is such a strange experience, it's different each time and all I can say is that it DOES get better over time, but it doesn't feel like that whilst you're going through it

I think you need to be kind to yourself and accept that you won't always feel like you do at the moment, there are different stages to grief and it's still early on in the process for you

Sending you and the PP above best wishes💐

I was like that after losing both parents and, like you, thought, "wtf is wrong with me?!"
But then I spoke to friends and it's.. just one of those things that happens. I wasn't the only one.
You just don't notice, because say Annie, Brian and Chris at work or in your friends group all lose a parent in the same year. Chris keeps bursting into tears and you notice that. But you don't "notice" the other two not doing so - if you see what I mean.

I’m sorry for your loss.

I lost my Dad 3 years ago, also due to cancer and to be honest I don’t think I have realised it yet.

I was very close to him all my life but although I did cry a bit the first couple of days I have not done since and didn’t even cry at his funeral. I don’t know what other family members must have thought of me at the funeral, but I was actually quite cheerful and just chatted to people.

I had had some disagreements about the organisation of his funeral with other family members and I think that affected me a lot. I was upset and annoyed about those things and it distracted me from my actual grief about him dying.

I kept thinking at some point it will hit me, but as it’s been this long already maybe it never will.

I know that I loved him very much and that he loved me very much and I guess that is what matters really.

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me.

I guess I had this idea of what my grief would look like before he died and the reality is quite different.

I’m sorry for your loss. Grief comes in waves whether it be sadness, denial or feeling numb / nothing. I experienced the numb feeling where I didn’t feel anything. It can be your body’s way of protecting you. Be kind to yourself x

I lost my dad on 25th January. Earlier in the day I'd been with him in hospital. He had no blood flowing to his foot and they had just informed us that they cant operate due to his COPD. They did day he could have whatever painkillers he liked and antibiotics if required. Once they te you someone with COPD can gave whatever painkillers you know it's the end. I was expecting weeks of him with sepsis and gangrene. Nope later that night he had a heart attack. They kept him alive until we got to the hospital ad we held him while he passed away.

I feel numb, lost and wrong. I'd lost my mum in 2016. This time it's so different, I was really close to my dad and we had great laughs together. My last conversation with him was about going to Switzerland to go skiing... he said as long as I pay as he's not paying to off himself !!!
He took the free route !

I totally get where you are coming from...I thought mine was because he went so quickly, but maybe not...

I feel you totally..... xxxx

I lost my dad at the age of 88 and I feel his loss everyday. I don’t think until you lose a parent you can comprehend the shock and sadness. He was 88 so I had a long time with him and he lived a very full life.
But I miss him desperately - he got me and I got him.
I’m so sorry for your loss OP. X

My Dad's death I found quite traumatic, he was awake and aware of what was happening and he was in a lot of pain, so maybe it is like a PP said where I'm numb due to my body protecting itself.

I really appreciate all of your responses, it's really helped. I'm sorry you've all suffered a great loss as I have xx

I lost my dad very suddenly in my twenties, and recently my brother, again suddenly. In both cases I went numb like you. With my brother, I actually felt like my brain was knocked sidewise, and it got worse and worse, and after a few days I felt like I was going to crack apart, and at that point it was like a huge concrete weight descended and numbed everything and I lived sort of squashed round it.
I still don't really believe he's gone.

My mum died less unexpectedly, of cancer, and her I grieved in a more "normal" way I guess? Lots of tears and waves of grief.

I loved them all very much and miss them dreadfully.

Honestly I think this can be normal
I lost my mum in January of 2025, and I didnt cry for ages ,I couldn't even cry at the funeral, it took about 6 months before it hit me its very early days for you right now .

Very similar experience. My dad got his feet amputated and gangrene on the rest of the legs +sepsis. Heart attack the following night....He was very highly medicated, didn't even wake up, died while sleeping in few seconds.