Mum's ashes - ready to take next step

[sisteroutlaw]

Sending love to all those missing their loved ones ❤️

It's taken two years to book in to inter my mum's ashes. I feel a bit strange about it - after all the busyness of the funeral, and sale of our family home, there was an end to our connection with my home town.

But I now feel strong enough to honour her with a celebration. What shape can an interment take? How joyful can we go?! She prepaid a spot at the cemetary so it's now up to us to put a service of sorts together and honour her.

Relatives will be travelling to come; some staying overnight in B&Bs. What catering would you do?

Thanks everyone for reading x

You can go as joyful as you all want, see it as a celebration of her life if you want. There is no need to have it be a serious occasion if you all don't want that.

Would the food be at a pub? Can you order directly from there or from an outside catering company? How many are you expecting?

Hope everything goes well for you, I've lost my parents over the past 7 months and it's still really difficult. How do you feel 2 years on? Do you find the deep sadness gets more spaced out or just easier to deal with?

Thanks @Alittlebitofthebauble for your kind reply.

Food in a pub setting sounds easiest. And she was always generous feeding people so need to make sure there's enough if they're travelling.

Two years on it is much much better. Now a simpler sort of missing her. Less conflicted I suppose. First year n a bit, it was like a peculiar withdrawal where everything was too stark. I was in danger of sabotaging my job, behaving indifferently. But caught it in time.

I now just miss her and wish I could have some of her back. The phone calls I missed. The voice mails she left. Her open house and heart. Her readiness to listen to the dregs of my day. TBH I feel lonely mostly since she died despite my own DH and DCs. Thank you for asking me.

How harsh to lose both parents so recently. Thinking of you and hoping you have some bright days this week, thinking of happy things with them. No need to rush any feelings along x

For my DM and DF life celebration we booked a room in a hotel. They did the catering with a buffet and soft drinks with procecco/non alcoholic for a toast. Put money behind the bar. They had a TV and we had photos and videos playing from a laptop. I did a large cork board with lots of photos of them. We had 50s 60s music playing in the background as they loved music and dancing. People were welcome to stand up and say a few words with the memories we had and quite a few did. Others who couldn't attend sent messages to be read out. It all went very well and was very fitting. Tried not to make sombre at all.

@sisteroutlaw, thank you. Feel very in the thick of it and can relate when you say, "Her open house and heart" and "Her readiness to listen to the dregs of my day." Was waffling on to her today at the graveside and it really helped. Didn't want to leave really. Visited Dad's grave for the first time too and a chatty robin appeared. I know it was him as he was a big talker! Hahaa ☺️

How are you getting on with organising everything?