I gave birth at 24 weeks + 1, after my waters started leaking a few days beforehand. My baby girl was born with an infection that apparently came from me as my infection markers were raised. she had collapsed lungs and her kidneys weren't working which led to severe edema (fluid build up and swelling). Her brain scans showed no improvement at 28 weeks. She fought for 30 days but passed away. The whole experience has traumatised me: I was there the night her stats started to drop and I could only watch as they tried to retube her ventilation pipe but because of her edema, her airways were restricted. The action of trying to retube her was causing trauma to her throat and i could see the blood on the tube as they pulled it out. They kept her manually bagged until a consultant could show up; for 20 minutes i could only watch as she was being kept only barely alive and at one point i felt like saying, to just let her go so she could go in peace. Ultimately, the consultant confirmed a retubing was impossible and they let me hold her as she passed in my arms.
PPROM affects 5 in 1000 women and I was one of them, im scared of getting pregnant again in case i go through the same heartbreak and pain as im more likely to have a premature birth again. They advice to wait 2 years before trying again but they said that realistically most people dont, its just a recommendation from them.
Any advice or stories from others who had PPROM and their experience with child loss and/or getting pregnant again?