My mum's died; her mortgage?

[LenniesToast]

I appreciate there's a bereavement topic, but I really can't be arsed to find it right now. I need to know practically what to do about some things, if you know, please do tell me what to do.

My mum has very recently died, having chosen to end her life after a very long period of ill health and bad medical news. It was pain free and comfy and in many ways a good death. This is ok.

However, due to this there will need to be a postmortem and I will not be able to get death certificates for a little bit. In the meantime, I have tried to tell her work and ultimately left a message. I have spoken with the coroner and a funeral home. I have cleaned up the physical aftermath of her death as there was quite a bit of blood I didn't want my little brother to see.

But, what do I do about her mortgage? I can't do anything without death certificates I think. My little brother (early 20s) still lives with her. He's travelling at the moment, so away from it all and with family. I need to make sure he has his home to get back to, and not a pile of angry letters about bills and such. I don't have a clue how much money she'll have in her bank account and if direct debits will bounce... But I can't even register her as dead yet, so I don't know what to do about it all at all. It's just us now, so I don't have anyone to advise me.

I don't feel grown up enough for all this.

Not true at all. When my husband killed himself there was no problem at all with the life insurance paying out.

The coroner opened and adjourned the inquest within 2 weeks and issued an interim death certificate then. A final one was issued 5 months later after the full inquest but all the banks and financial institutions were happy to use the interim one.

I had her found on Wednesday. I wasn't as brave as her, so I had her found by police as I knew she'd be dead. That's why I wanted to clean up, so at least I'd done that for her, even if I couldn't bring myself to find her.

Today is Friday. Early next week, I will identify her and can presumably talk about interim death certificates then. Presumably, she isn't 'really' dead until then, legally. I have until then to just sit, presumably?

She had organised, so I have all her paperwork. I know her details for everything. She's made it as easy as she can. Then it sounds like it's Tell Us Once; utilities etc; bank; mortgage; pension; will.

She had a mobility car - do I need to do anything seperate for that? Or is that covered with the Tell Us Once? I don't drive, so I can't get the fucking thing anywhere other than her drive, even if they want me to.

You could contact Motability on this number https://www.motability.co.uk/get-support/contact/

DVLA is done by the Tell Us Once scheme

I’m so sorry about your mum. I hope you have a friend or someone to talk to and help you. Sending you a hug.

Also even without death certificates you can call bank/mortgage people and let them know. Try and talk to a real person. And try and get their name. Just get a list going of who you have told, date, name. It’s a process. Someone linked to a good resource above - What to do when someone dies. It’s tough. But it’s a process. Good luck. ♥️

So sorry about your mum Lennie and sending you virtual hugs. I did all of my mum and dad’s probates when they died and I would say give yourself time. No one is going to object if it’s next week rather than today so give yourself time to process. And if you ever need them the people on the HMRC helpline are just lovely and don’t object to any number of daft questions