Miscarriage at 17 weeks funeral for baby

[Boymum2256]

I lost my baby girl at almost 17 weeks my waters broke and I give birth to her I held her and loved her so much.

I posted her little memorial with a candle etc on my facebook and I had both my parents tell me I shouldn’t be posting my personal stuff and that I’m disgusting for doing so and they made me feel horrible and like I shouldn’t be grieving my daughter.

I don’t speak to them now but baby’s funeral is this Friday and I can’t help but feel like it’s all too much and stupid for having a funeral for my baby who was only the size of my hand. I want the funeral and I want to say my last goodbye to the baby I would have had but I don’t want to tell anyone incase they think I’m being stupid.

i know me feeling this way is down to my parents, did anyone have a funeral for their baby that they lost at 17 weeks?

I’ll be honest that i didn’t know you could so early, it’s certainly unusual but it’s your choice. Many people do have a short memorial service instead and most hospitals have occasional memorial services they invite all bereaved parents to. I’m very sorry for your loss. Please remember that times are different now to your parents day, we didn’t share this kind of thing, just a shame they can’t see your way of thinking

Your parents sound absolutely vile. Personally, I didn’t have a funeral after any of my lost pregnancies, but do what’s right for you.

If you want a funeral; do a funeral. It’s no one else’s business. It’s a good thing to share in my opinion, I have shared that I had a miscarriage. It is reassuring to know others been through the same

Hi OP, I'm sorry for what you're going through... you need to do what's right for you. We had a short 'funeral' (I use inverted commas here as it wasn't a full funeral so not sure funeral is the right word but can't think of a better one) after my tfmr at 16w. It was just us in the crematorium and they'd played a couple of pieces of music for us and that was it. He was a much wanted baby and gave us some closure.

Aww, your post has made me cry. I'm so sorry. Your parents are being unnecessarily harsh - cruel, even. You are perfectly entitled to share this on your FB if you want to, and of course you can have a funeral (memorial service?) for her. You'll never forget her, but hopefully it will, as a PP said, bring closure. Don't invite your parents! Best wishes x

I lost my little boy who was born at 18 weeks.
The hospital was very supportive. They let us move into à little flat on site with him overnight.The vicar on the rota came to see us, chatted and then asked us to think if we would like him to be cremated and to let her know. She said that some people found it helpful.
We did go ahead with just ourselves and the vicar present. DH and I found it very moving and it felt like saying a proper goodbye.
We opted not to have our mothers present as they both tend to make everything about themselves and I couldn't have coped with having to support them.

Absolutely do what feels right for you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

X

I post a baby much earlier. I still have the scan. I still think of them and who they might be.
Grief is grief. If a funeral is a way for you to move through your grief do it.
Much love to you.