Christmas cards

[MrsWhites]

My Step-mum has very recently passed away and it’s really a small thing in the grand scheme of things but I don’t know what to write on my Dad’s Christmas card - it seems so heartless to send a card with just ‘Dad’ on but I don’t want to upset him by still writing her name too.

They live in another country so the card will be posted with his Christmas present in a couple of weeks. Should I just send his gift and not a card - to be fair he isn’t a big sentimental person for things like cards usually.

Grief and all the little parts of moving on without her is just so hard.

I agree. I’m sending one to someone who recently lost their wife and just put ‘Thinking of you this Christmas Andrew, much love’. Didn’t put Happy Christmas or Dear Andrew. Probably overthought it.

I’d send the gift with a thinking of you or warm wishes type card. A Christmas card wouldn’t be appropriate as Christmas will be difficult.

Send a card and mention your step mum’s name. Having lost my son and both my parents it means a lot when someone mentions any of them. The fear of people forgetting your loved ones is immense and it gives me strength when they are remembered (particularly my son who was only 18 when he died).

Not overthinking it. That's thoughtful to word it carefully. @MrsWhites have been in v similar situation and went with a blank inside Christmas card with a wintery scene on the front. Worded it similarly to @columnatedruinsdomino

Sorry this has happened, it's shit especially in the run up to Christmas

I agree. I'm so sorry about your son, I lost mine too, and it means so much if someone puts his name in a Christmas card. Not many do though, sadly. Perhaps they think it's painful for me, but I'd much rather he were remembered.

Thank you everyone. Grief is so blood hard isn’t it, I cried for hours last night because I posted something about one of my children’s achievements on facebook and then realised that she would never see it (she’d have been the first person to like and comment). This Christmas card worry has set me off again today 😢

For those who said to mention her name, would you say something like ‘thinking of you all and of course x this Christmas’? Does that sound ok?

I’m so sorry for all your losses too, I’m glad it gives you comfort for your loved ones to be remembered at this time of year especially.

A blank card with a wintery secne and a note such as..
Thinking of you Dad at this time of year and especially remembering (step mum's name) fondly. We have some lovely memories of past Christmases(family events/ spending time together )which we will always treasure. Looking forward to chatting with you on christmas day.

This is a lovely message

I got a gorgeous card from Rosie loves last year for my friend. It summed up everything and was a Christmas card without being a Christmas card if you know what I mean? Love t you, it's hard isn't it X

Oh I wish I’d thought of something like this, a lovely message.

If a card feels too much, a little letter would be a good alternative. Just a few lines.

Thank you everyone, some great advice on here.

I have decided to address it just to Dad but will include a message of how we are thinking of and remembering my step-mum of course over the festive period.

Thankfully he will be wider family over Christmas so I don’t have to worry about him being alone.