First Christmas without them

[ShyGreyFinch]

this will be my first Christmas after losing both my parents within 3 months of each other. I want to make it special as I have a toddler but I'm dreading it. Any tips on how to get through it? Thanks

Condolences. The first Christmas after my mum died was difficult and we plodded through it doing everything as normal. Kids are a great distraction so I would make it all about your toddler enjoying the magic of the day. It will get easier in subsequent years but the first one is hard.

My condolences for the loss of your parents, OP.
I understand that this is a very difficult time for you.

This Christmas will be special for your toddler because you are you, and your toddler loves you.
Be sad about your parents not being with you anymore, but be happy about your toddler. It's OK to be both sad and happy at the same time.

My first without my dad and this weekend the reality of it has truly kicked in I just keep randomly crying! In a way hoping seeing the kids all excited when we get to actual Christmas will soften it. Losing both is heart shattering I am so sorry. But like the poster above said you can be happy and sad at the same time sometimes I remind myself my dad got to enjoy all his christmases as a child and all mine as I grew up so he wouldn’t want me sad and missing out on a part of his life he really enjoyed xx

First Christmas without my mum and I'm dreading it.

Haven't even put the tree up yet. Kids are both older so none of the excitement of little ones and they're both struggling too without their much loved Grandma 😢

It's just rubbish.

First Christmas without my beautiful grandad. Heart is shattered. Sending you all love.

Allow yourself a cry in the morning and whenever you need.

We usually wake up and do stockings and then DH takes kids downstairs to start breakfast and that’s usually when I feel teary and have a little cry for my mum. Again just before or after Christmas dinner.

The tears will happen, you just have to accept it and let them in. My kids know that when we put the tree up and certain baubles come out that I will usually have a small cry and we all have a cuddle and talk about Gran.

I think having young children is such a boon though because their joy and happiness is infectious and it will pull you through. Just don’t put pressure on yourself to host the perfect Christmas, but take the time away when you need and don’t be afraid to cry or need a break from the festivities.

My mum loved Christmas and I am always torn between finding this time of year very hard without her, but wanting to make it special like she did for me every year. It’s a tough old thing, grief, and to lose two parents in such a short space of time is awful. DH lost his parents in a similar timeframe so from the outside I know how rotten it is.