Hello, sorry if this is jumbled I just need to get it out and not sure where to turn.
Over summer my ex husband (separated almost 3 years) took his life while I was abroad with our early primary aged child. We had a good co parenting relationship, spoke everyday just were not compatible as a couple.
I have experienced a lot of loss over the last few years but this is different I just can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that he does not exist anymore. It is so insane to me that he has died. My child is doing well and seems to be taking the adjustment in their stride, understands and asks questions but seems to be coping well. I feel like outwardly I am coping well but breaking down in tears is always just under the surface. Is that just me now? I feel I have permanently changed. I also don’t know where to turn with asking for help to process because I can’t speak about it without crying.