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Bereavement

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Widowed DM keeps wanting relationship advice

1 reply

MonkeyMonkeyUnderpants1 · 10/11/2025 13:57

My DF passed away fairly suddenly last year from a very aggressive cancer. DF and DM were together for almost 40 years. DM is early 60s. At the start of the year she announced she had been on a few dates with an old school friend but that hadn't worked out so wanted advice on online dating. I've been with my DH for almost 10 years and I was early 20s when we met so I didn't have any useful advice. Fast forward and she's been seeing a mutual friend of my parents for last 6 months. They're going on holiday together (with a group of friends) next month. She keeps asking me for relationship help and I'm getting quite uncomfortable. She talks about feeling like she's settling for someone less than perfect and how she wants someone to woo her. I definitely don't want her to be alone and I'm glad she's comfortable getting back out there but being constantly asked for advice is getting to me. I'm still grieving my dad (as I know she is too). I'm an only child and DM has no other family so whilst I want to be supportive, I need help setting a boundary. She asked if I wanted to meet the partner and I said I wasn't ready for that so I've put one boundary in place. Any advice or just words of encouragement from someone who has experienced similar.

OP posts:
mamagogo1 · 10/11/2025 14:01

Point her in the direction of here, reminding her to be anonymous of course though I suspect you might guess it was her. Alternatively suggest she goes to a group with active older women, the ladies I know through work will happily discuss these things (I know an octogenarian who goes on tinder dates and they happily talk about sex etc, todays older women at least are very much still interested in dating and often younger men!)

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