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Bereavement

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Would you buy SIL flowers after loosing one of her parents

46 replies

Cookie105 · 20/10/2025 20:59

Would you buy SIL flowers after loosing one of her parents. To add she’s only young loosing a parent. I think it would be nice but not sure if it’s the done thing?

OP posts:
Finsburyfancy · 20/10/2025 21:00

Nah, I'd get her brownies. It won't make it better, but it won't make it worse.

Gingercar · 20/10/2025 21:00

Yes.

caringcarer · 20/10/2025 21:00

Yes of course and a sorry for your bereavement card too.

TheFormidableMrsC · 20/10/2025 21:01

Yes absolutely. A lovely card to go with them. I’ve just lost a parent and I can’t tell you how comforting it was when people acknowledged my loss. Also she’s your SIL so she’s family. I wouldn’t even question yourself.

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 20/10/2025 21:01

I would absolutely send flowers and a card.

Namechangedforspooky · 20/10/2025 21:03

I prefer to get a plant in a pot that won’t die. Remember me rose maybe?
(I’ve lost a parent too and I struggled with flowers dying, lovely as they were. I appreciate not everyone will think like me though)

Sleeposaurus · 20/10/2025 21:05

Yes, flowers or an appropriate gift and a card. If you are close, go to the funeral.

I'd known my in-laws for over 15, helped them in many ways. It was never reciprocated which was fine, but I was really offended when none of them bothered to acknowledge my father's death beyond checking if it was still ok they stayed 2 days later as they had a concert to go to. Really made me see that that don't view me as family and has slightly soured the relationship.

iwantavuvezela · 20/10/2025 21:06

absolutely - she will remember that you did this, it really means a lot when you have a bereavement and your loved one is remembered. don't overthink it, just do it.

Juliejuly · 20/10/2025 21:08

Flowers, food, a plant, whatever. But, yes of course acknowledging her loss with a gift and a card is appropriate.

Carandache18 · 20/10/2025 21:11

I'd buy/send something, but not flowers. Twice after deaths we have been inundated with flowers, so much that we ended up just opening the cards and passing the huge bunches to the local church. We couldn't deal with them.

KylieKangaroo · 20/10/2025 22:28

Yes I would, it's a lovely gesture

CrustyOldFrump · 20/10/2025 22:39

I’d send something else as she may be inundated with flowers, and a card with a personal note. Chat gpt can help if you struggle to know what to write.

Grief can be such a lonely place, I don’t know anyone who has gone through it and wished that people hadn’t reached out to them. I’ve recently lost a family member and the non acknowledgment from a couple of friends has really changed how I see them.

Smartiepants79 · 20/10/2025 22:43

This is your brothers wife? I would send whatever you know she will value. If she likes flowers, send flowers. If she likes certain foods, send that. She will just be glad to know you’ve thought about her and are sad for her bereavement.

Irenesortof · 20/10/2025 22:44

Yes flowers are just right

NCReceptor · 20/10/2025 22:47

Yes, I’d drop round a small posey with a card and a meal.
I think you’re always more likely to regret not doing something in such circumstances than to regret making an effort to show you care.

PiggieWig · 20/10/2025 22:47

Yes. My SIL sent flowers when my stepdad died 10 years ago. He wasn’t my dad but he was grandad to my kids and it was so kind of her to acknowledge the loss.

I also received flowers from my children’s stepmum when our cat was killed on the road. Also very much appreciated. We were heartbroken, and she understood 💔

Yellowe · 20/10/2025 22:51

Why wouldn’t you? I mean, I don’t understand why you’re asking? It’s not as if she’s someone you once shared a business with shelter with.

HeddaGarbled · 20/10/2025 23:07

It’s fine, but it’s not a replacement for personalised hand-written condolences in a card or letter.

DrearyDiary · 20/10/2025 23:15

I'd do something but maybe mot flowers. When DH died the flowers just kept coming, which was wonderfully well intentioned but dealing with them was just another job. Some ended up straight in the compost.

feliciabirthgiver · 20/10/2025 23:47

Yes, I feel quite upset neither my SIL or MIL didn’t get a card or flowers or anything when my DDad passed away earlier this year, especially as we are very close and it was a horribly sudden death.

captainoctopus · 21/10/2025 00:02

Homemade chocolate cake. A friend did this for me - it was years ago but it's still a lovely, kind memory.

Tourmalines · 21/10/2025 00:05

Of course .

Badger717 · 21/10/2025 00:12

It depends how close you are. My SIL and I wouldn’t send them to each other under the same circumstances but we’re not at all close.

I wouldn’t even know who my SIL parents are.

cannotgetit · 21/10/2025 00:16

Yes but make sure they are in a vase and a meal from Cook .

BellissimoGecko · 21/10/2025 00:17

It’s losing, not loosing.

I’d send a heartfelt card. Flowers might be nice (choose ones that come in their own pot so your SIL doesn’t have to cut them and put them in a vase). Or a thoughtful gift or plant may be better, depending on your SIL. But the most important thing is a card.