Df was in a nursing home, days leading up to his death he had terminal agitation. He didn't seem in pain, but he was caught in his memories, dreams and present. Although it was distressing with him trying to get out of bed, stripping and hullcinating, there were some lovely moments. He knew we were there and would respond to my voice, giving me a lovely smile and telling me he loved me. I stayed with him all through the night and neither of us got sleep. The asked for the syringe driver the Sunday the day it started and it was out in that night but took a few days to get the dosage right. On the Wednesday he was sleeping and I noticed his breathing would change occasionally. I decided to stay l. As the night went on he was gurgling a bit more. About 12.30am they had to turn him, I could see his bottom was hurting. They told me for the first time had a sore, so they would look at the dressing. His bottom was ok the sunday.as I checked with the nurse. Anyway I stepped out and walked down the corridor, as I came back I could hear my dad scream in pain, a few times. When the nurse came out she mentioned the dressing was caught on his pad and he wasn't happy being moved. I went in and his breathing was more rapid and gurgling, he was asleep. I mentioned it to the nurse after 20 mins as he wasn't as settled, she gave something for the secretions but when I asked about pain relief she suggested there he couldn't have more because they had upped it quite a bit that day. I sat with dad, and talked and the death rattle got worse so I stood outside for fresh air. When I came back I spoke to the nurse about his breathing again. When I went in and looked at dad's had I could see him grappling the sheet slightly. So I told the nurse, who had spoke to another nurse and they were getting more midazolam and morphine. it felt like forever. It was administered at 3.40, his breathing and rattle seems to change and there was moment of relief. But 20 mins later, it started to change. I rang my DH at 4.08, deciding whether to wake people up and he died at 4.20. I was playing a Neil diamond song called Be, I told him I loved him, he was a good dad and grandad. I remember he looked like he was about to smile, as I went to smile back but he never made it. His head looked up, he took his last breath and I literally feel I saw his spirit leave his body. I can't explain it, I saw him go. I shouted, waited for the next breath. His head then dropped and two exhales freaked me out so I rang the bell. I then felt this warm feeling in my chest as I waited for the the nurse. I can't seem to forget that night and I feel guilty for him being in pain, when they moved him. He never really recovered 😔 I can't tell anyone as I want the to know it was peaceful and it was in the last few minutes. I just can't forget the cries of pain 😔