The first anniversary

[Mikart]

In a week it will be a year since ds died by suicide. I'm not sure what I will be doing that day...dh is off and we have builders in ☹️ so will probably go walking somewhere.

This is the last " first" and I'm dreading it.

I'm so so sorry, I can't imagine how hard the last year has been for you. I hope you can both take some time to remember him in the way that helps you both the most, I think the lead up to all the "firsts" is just as hard as the anniversary date. Thinking of you both and your wonderful son x

Sending love OP.

I'm so sorry @Mikart .
Be very kind to yourself.
Sending all the warming, healing vibes I can muster.
And a big hug.
Tell us about him - if you would like to. 💞

That’s the toughest thing in the world and I am sending you strength and love. Your beautiful son is forever young and in your heart every second. Do what you want and let’s hope the day passes quickly

I can't imagine how hard that is. X Much hugs x

I’m so sorry for your loss, it must be extra difficult with it being suicide.The last ‘first’ is difficult, and I also think the second year is harder than the first.
I saw on another thread I’m on that there is a support charity called SOBS -survivors of bereavement by suicide-I don’t think many of us can begin to understand how hard that must be to deal with, I hope you (&DH) have some support irl.

Oh OP - this is so tough. Do whatever you need to do and try to have as little expectations as you can. You are absolutely allowed to ask everyone around you for any support you need. Each anniversary will be different.

You may find afterwards that the run-up to an anniversary is harder than the actual day.

I found the Compassionate Friends charity so understanding as a bereaved parent. They have a support line if you need and you can talk to other bereaved parents.

Sending much love.

Such a tough day for you and your DH and i’m so sorry to hear about your son. Do something your son liked to do, whether that’s a walk somewhere he enjoyed, or a park he loved as a child. Somewhere peaceful where you can remember him. Sending strength on such a difficult day.

Thank you for your responses. Dh is not his dad so its a bit different ( although he has been brilliant)
I live 300 miles from where he grew up which actually is better, as there are no memories of happy childhood times.
He had no history of MH issues which makes it worse. A long term partner, owned a house, was successful in his career.
We are still awaiting the inquest too.
I'm not religious or spiritual...I dont believe he is still with me and certainly not in a better place. I've got through the last 360 days and if you met me you would never know this awful painful event has happened.
I'm lucky to have good friends who know what to say/ do ..ive had some counselling too but I'm not sure how beneficial it was.
I look after myself and find exercise and being outdoors helps. Every book I read at the moment seems to have a suicide in it! But actually that's ok.

Sending hugs and strength @Mikart. We’re coming up to the first anniversary this weekend too and absolutely dreading it (my dad, suicide also). Im
also so sorry to hear you’re still waiting for the inquest - that’s a big milestone.
A walk sounds like a good thing to do on the day, fresh air is always a good thing. And the only way is through. Sending big hugs x