I miss my Mum

[Liediddliddly]

She died after a short illness when I was in my early 20s. It's gradually got easier to live with until I had my own child last year. It's hard that they won't know each other and that I don't have my Mum's support.

What I'm struggling with now is from being at a family wedding last week and seeing how it would have been to have my Mum at my wedding. How it should be. Obviously I missed her on my own wedding day but I expected that. It's completely blindsided me that seeing my family member's Mum be there on her wedding day and do all the mother of the bride stuff was actually really difficult. I squashed it down on the day and haven't mentioned it to anyone but it's hard. I just miss her.

I am so sorry for your loss. Living without our loved ones is just so hard and it's an ongoing process. I lost my dead nearly two years ago and while I'm not actively grieving as such, I miss him multiple times per day. I've been saddened seeing grandfather's picking up grandkids from school or on family holiday pictures on social media. Sometimes it just comes into sharp focus (although I'm obviously happy that my friends still have their fathers) . I wish I had advice or could help but just wanted to let you know that there's lots of us that experience similar feelings.
A couple of my friends have lost their parents too early and at least I know they understand and we occasionally have a chat about this type of thing.

This is so hard. I also lost my mum in my early 20s and have found it so hard at friends life events seeing others mums around. I actually changed the type of wedding I had because I didn’t want a big wedding without my
mum there. It’s an incredibly isolating feeling and definitely harder since I’ve had children

I sending you my best wishes OP. The feelings you have are completely normal. Grief is so unpredictable. I remember reading that grief is like a wave, sometimes you are dipping your toes in it and other times it comes crashing into you like a wave. Be kind to yourself.

I know it's not quite the same but my mum died when I was a year old. I'm in my 80's now - I never knew her but have missed her all my life. You will sadly always miss her.

Hi OP, I know how you are feeling , I lost my Mum almost four years ago and I've only recently stopped crying every day. She was only 61 and she died on her own and I wasn't there. She was my only family apart from my husband and daughters.

i get so jealous when i see other women out having lunch with their Mums . I miss her so much…. I lost a-lot of family who died close together so everyone I loved before I met my husband are gone. My girls are missing out on so much . I just want to give you a big hug , enjoy your little family and tell your little one stories of their Nanna she would love that. I’m sure your lovely Mum has her arms wrapped tightly around you both .❤️

I am very sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing how you feel. Have you thought of writing your mother a letter each time you feel her loss and then put them in a box somewhere privately. Also, have you thought of exploring the things that she liked like music, books she read, hobbies she followed, recipes she cooked, write down memories that come to you both of which you shared and ones she told you about from her life. I have done this with my late mother and it gives me comfort to get to know her all over again. She is not gone, she has simply moved into another realm and walks with you every day.

I know exactly what you mean. All the family members I had have now gone as I was the youngest in a big family. It is very lonely but I try to fill my life with a daily menu and enjoy the moment. Hard at times, but mostly OK.

I lost my mum in my middle 20s. It’s a lonely club. I think I’ve lived quite a constrained life since then, but I’m trying to change that. The birthdays and anniversaries you can prepare for in a way, it’s the silly little things that blindside you. I remember a nurse telling me that I would always miss my mum and it doesn’t matter how old you are when that loss happens.

@Liediddliddly im sorry you miss your Mum 💐

That's so hard for you @Liediddliddly

Having a Mum around is (usually) wonderful and I can really understand how you feel.

Sending you loads of love ❤️

Thank you so much for all the kind messages. I'm sorry to those who are dealing with their own loss. Grief does hit you in waves and it's harder when you're looking in the other direction. I think, for me, it's brought into sharp relief by being a Mum and realising how much your children mean to you. That's something I never really got to appreciate before my Mum died and it's sad that she'll never get to share in the joy of my child.

@neilyoungismyhero That's very sad. My granny (she'd be in her 90s now) lost her Mum when she was a young child and she'd told me about how bereavement was dealt with so differently then. I hope you found peace and comfort from other people but I know no one can replace your Mum.