My cat was run over outside my house earlier this week and he died on the way to the vets. He was only 2. I feel so guilty for him. I just feel absolutely awful for him. He's been cremated and he is back home now.
I have never had to deal with a pet dying before and organising his cremation was really difficult. Holding his tiny little body in the family room at the vets brought up some terrible memories and I had to leave after 20 minutes. I feel terrible for that.
His death has brought up some terrible memories from when my baby died. Holding my cats body in a little blanket, being in a little room that they try to make cozy. Getting his little ashes back and a little urn. I felt so helpless when my cat was dying and I felt so helpless when my baby died. And I couldn't help either of them. They both died in Mt arms.
I know im being ridiculous and I know death happens to everyone. But I am so incredibly upset about my cat passing away. He was such a snuggly loving boy and he loved me so much. I got him and his brother because I'd felt broody for years and didn't want to have another baby ( I have 2 dc aged 10 and 8 )
I don't want to speak to my friends about this because I didn't know them when my baby died. They don't get it ( he was my first baby and he died in 2013 shortly after being born ) And I feel stupid keep crying over a cat. But I really really love him and I can't believe he has gone.
I dont even want to type this next message because it seens so unbeleivable ( i have proof in emails that he did this as he admitted it applogised )
It doesn't help I was in a dv relationship with Mt children's father and when we split up he took our sons ashes. I didn't realise at first. When I realised he taunted me for weeks with them and refused to give them back.
When he finally did give them back he came round to my house at 5am and tied them to my door handle when I was asleep. I didn't want there to be any kroe arguing or messing with his ashes so I asked if he would like to meet up to scatter them, when I got them out of my bag he took them off me poured them away and started laughing I was horrified and asked what he was doing and he started laughing saying he had given me ashes from his dad's fire and that the ones he pulled out were the real ashes. I still don't know to this day if they really were of if he tricked me again. I very rarely even tell people about this because it is so fucked up it sounds like I've made it up.
I feel bad that I have my cats ashes and not my sons but not having my sons is what made me want my cats even more
I just feel horrible for so many different reasons d I just feel so sad and empty